Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
When I’m not working a min wage job I hate, I lay in bed all day. Each day is worse than the day before. Don’t know how much longer I can take. I used to watch movies a lot but it no longer interests me.
 
I

I will go soon

Member
Apr 9, 2018
62
Recently I've been watching the world cup a lot. Other than that, I play xbox, I go to the gym, I cook sometimes, occasionally go out for movies or to eat. I did work part time but now I start a full time job in a week. Now I also think about death and how I'm going to die and plan my suicide as I do all of this other stuff. I seem like your average normal working man. I smile a lot so people think I'm happy and that it's genuine. No one can see my true feelings luckily, or they'd want me in a hospital asap.
 
skyofAuroras

skyofAuroras

-
Apr 10, 2018
136
I don't work and I'm off from school for the summer. Most days I just clean the house, do chores, play videogames, and just fill my time with mindless entertainment. There's not a lot I really enjoy doing. Just been existing.
 
I

IQof87SadButTrue

Member
Jun 11, 2018
35
I read books, learn new words, work on building life skills. Learning to invest money safely and make it grow. Gaining new life experiences. Anything to improve the quality of my life. I quit my job due to it being too boring but I miss making money so I may have to start it up again. I work on building my life despite wanting to ctb because I might have a chance to solve my problems but I'm 90 percent sure its unlikely to be fixed.
 
shinitai

shinitai

Member
Jun 28, 2018
25
I don't work. I mostly play video games all day but even that is starting to bore me. I'm curious what you guys do?
It's pathetic, but since it's the holidays now, all I do is surf the internet lying on my bed with the curtains drawn. I don't have the energy to even get up but my parents force me to "do something" with my life haha
 
FlowerWithDeadEyes

FlowerWithDeadEyes

Member
Jun 15, 2018
19
I work all day, Go home, cook occasionally read. For the past two years I was on a “book high.” All I did was read in between work and home. But as my depression kept growing I stopped doing everything I like. I barely cook anymore, I don’t even read, I don’t play video games, I only listen to heavy metal and Indie music, I hate being outside. I hate being around people. I hate being around kids. And when I’m at work. I’m the sweetest most happiest person. And the few times when I can’t hide my feelings my co-workers look at me like I should be admitted. I’ve been going to theraphy for almost two years now. And I’ve tried everything to feel better. I came to the realization that nothing I do will ever change how I feel. And I’ve been fighting this war for far too long. The only time i’m not stressed out is when I’m
planing for the end. (Sorry for the long story.)
 
Soon4me

Soon4me

Enlightened
Jun 15, 2018
1,591
For about 2 years nothing I lost all interest in everything because of depression
But now i am Slowly trying
to get back to all the interests/hobbies
i used to have

Like music Heavy metal and punk
Playing guitar
 
Soon4me

Soon4me

Enlightened
Jun 15, 2018
1,591
Wake up, blast heavy metal, youtube, wack off, sleep.
Not going to ask about the wack off :)
But i see you like heavy metal
My favourite heavy metal song is this (sorry for putting a video in this thread !)(but this guy likes HEAVY METAL) :)
 
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B

burrito

Member
Jun 28, 2018
25
I
It's pathetic, but since it's the holidays now, all I do is surf the internet lying on my bed with the curtains drawn. I don't have the energy to even get up but my parents force me to "do something" with my life haha
Relate a lot to that...
 
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Bunny13000

Bunny13000

Member
Jun 28, 2018
28
Not going to ask about the wack off :)
But i see you like heavy metal
My favourite heavy metal song is this (sorry for putting a video in this thread !)(but this guy likes HEAVY METAL) :)
I did enjoy that even with its five lyrics it made sense
 
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Soon4me

Soon4me

Enlightened
Jun 15, 2018
1,591
I work all day, Go home, cook occasionally read. For the past two years I was on a “book high.” All I did was read in between work and home. But as my depression kept growing I stopped doing everything I like. I barely cook anymore, I don’t even read, I don’t play video games, I only listen to heavy metal and Indie music, I hate being outside. I hate being around people. I hate being around kids. And when I’m at work. I’m the sweetest most happiest person. And the few times when I can’t hide my feelings my co-workers look at me like I should be admitted. I’ve been going to theraphy for almost two years now. And I’ve tried everything to feel better. I came to the realization that nothing I do will ever change how I feel. And I’ve been fighting this war for far too long. The only time i’m not stressed out is when I’m
planing for the end. (Sorry for the long story.)
HEAVY \m/ >_< \m/ METAL
 
anna

anna

downfall
Mar 18, 2018
441
Take medication for pain.
Go crazy waiting for it to take effect.
And when it does, I try to distract my mind, research methods (although I think I do not have much left to discover ...). I also listen to a lot of music if I do not have pain.
This forum is my refuge.
And little else. Before, when the pain was not so frequent, towards something else, like playing a game, watching a movie, photographing, writing and activism for animals.
 
FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,794
If I have to work, I do it and somehow get to the end of the day. Then I turn to my drug of choice, sugar, until, like an alcoholic, I pass out in a fitful sleep and wake the next day to do it all over again. Maybe once a year or every few years I'll have a brief conversation with someone that's so fulfilling that I almost feel like continuing. Like last night. I met this early-20's guy at work. We'd had to work together but, like most, I suppose, we never really "saw" each other. Somehow it came up last week that when he was younger he was very much into environmentalism, but as he grew older he noticed no one else seemed to take it seriously so he stifled his interests. We shared a lot of websites, books, and ideas together last night & for the first time in ... forever ... I felt excited and connected to existence. It's short-lived, of course, but glorious when it happens every few years for a couple of minutes.
 
FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,794
Now I also think about death and how I'm going to die and plan my suicide as I do all of this other stuff. I seem like your average normal working man. I smile a lot so people think I'm happy and that it's genuine. No one can see my true feelings luckily, or they'd want me in a hospital asap.

Amen. The burden of constantly pretending, constantly feigning fitting in, is like a 100-lb weight strung about your neck. It's both exhausting & painful. Worse yet, you can't be honest about your feelings. Because, though it escaped me, someone has proven that certain feelings and tastes are "wrong." And speaking as someone who HAS BEEN civilly committed, I'd rather have a tooth extracted without novocaine. Never, ever again.
 
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FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,794
And when I’m at work. I’m the sweetest most happiest person. And the few times when I can’t hide my feelings my co-workers look at me like I should be admitted.

I didn't find your post long at all. It sustains me to read these posts--so thank you... Isn't it funny how people are happy to assume we're OK so long as we act the part, but as soon as our facade cracks, instead of authentic concern (and putting in the work to connect to us), they start reviewing their script: "You should go see a therapist"?
 
EternalSanction

EternalSanction

-
Jun 7, 2018
252
Sleep, play games, learn stuff for university exams, substance abuse, contemplate my life & how it should end, sleep, repeat
 
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