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millefeui

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Mar 31, 2018
1,036
Appearance, gender/sexuality issues that made me lose most of my teenager/young adult years (I am 27 now), isolation, living in a really awful place (in terms of country and house), and as I get older, a few (literally a few, no more than three) decisions I took in the past are coming back to haunt me more frequently, which is often taking away the little peace I have (when I have). I might as well not have a family either. Also, I just don't like most humans. Our species is rotten to the core.

And... It doesn't get better from here. Even if I had the energy to "fight" to leave this awful place, there still so much to bother me in an every day basis. Not to mention, aging sucks. I am a late bloomer so I still look like I am 19~20 at most, but if I lived enough to hit my 35s, 40s, then my appearance would quickly catch up to my age. And appearance isn't the only issue. I am only 27 and I already have to deal with back pain. Like, come on. I am 27, not 67. If my back pain is already obnoxious now, how bad will it be in a decade or two?

No, thank you. I choose to leave.
 
Tomasnil

Tomasnil

Mage
Apr 24, 2018
519
Childhood abuse .... later alcohol abuse ... living like a daredevil with no fear of dying been in a few mc accidents so i got a back and shoulder that need sugery and my hip hurts like hell. I cant sleep unless im drunk beond walkable or takes sleeping pills
 
Suicida

Suicida

Member
Jun 21, 2018
11
Being an Adult Children of Alcoholic (ACOA), which means I have Complex PTSD. Grew up with my father's threats of killing the whole family and many more insanity
I used to be full of potential but because of bad and traumatic parenting I've became a shitty adult. I was smart and good student, now I can't even finish college. I was good looking, now I ugly (balding and aged alot due stress, insomnia and smoking). I used to have friends, lost them all (2 years of isolation). Used to be healthy, now I have gastric disorders, heart problem, insomnia and fkng HPV.
There's more but...yeah.
 
Erik

Erik

Member
Jun 21, 2018
6
or causes?
My cause is extremely tame compared to other responses. For me it's always been school. The work just piling up & up, the deadlines, the homework that steals your sleep & keeps you frusterated even after you leave the building. & there's really no escaping it. Because after school there's college & then work & if I'm struggling now who knows how I'll be able to cope with an even bigger workload years from now.
 
NoLifeNoPain

NoLifeNoPain

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Jun 17, 2018
1,364
Being an Adult Children of Alcoholic (ACOA), which means I have Complex PTSD. Grew up with my father's threats of killing the whole family and many more insanity
I used to be full of potential but because of bad and traumatic parenting I've became a shitty adult. I was smart and good student, now I can't even finish college. I was good looking, now I ugly (balding and aged alot due stress, insomnia and smoking). I used to have friends, lost them all (2 years of isolation). Used to be healthy, now I have gastric disorders, heart problem, insomnia and fkng HPV.
There's more but...yeah.
Damn. Sorry to hear that. I had a crazy alcoholic father that acted exactly like yours. But I was a baby back then. Only my sister and my mother experienced that crap. Don't worry there are no real friends, just people that like you because you give them something they're interested and when you stop having that they give you the middle finger.
 
Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
My cause is extremely tame compared to other responses. For me it's always been school. The work just piling up & up, the deadlines, the homework that steals your sleep & keeps you frusterated even after you leave the building. & there's really no escaping it. Because after school there's college & then work & if I'm struggling now who knows how I'll be able to cope with an even bigger workload years from now.

Don't worry, you are not the only one... I don't want to live like a slave neither.

Seriously, what's the problem people have with this? I had the opportunity of have a "decent" life and even being integrated in this shit society and I refused it. There is nothing wrong with this.
 
T

theinfinitesadness

Member
Jun 21, 2018
6
Childhood trauma due to growing up in a dysfunctional family with an older brother who mentally and physically tortured me for years. And witnessing my parents' unhappy marriage and my father's slow mental health deterioration and then eventually, seeing him die of a heart attack in front of my eyes. I was also extremely miserable at school as I was bullied and excluded and by the time I was 16, Ithe mental exhausted caused me to have a major breakdown, from which I've never recovered even nearly 20 years later.
 
M

millefeui

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Mar 31, 2018
1,036
My cause is extremely tame compared to other responses. For me it's always been school. The work just piling up & up, the deadlines, the homework that steals your sleep & keeps you frusterated even after you leave the building. & there's really no escaping it. Because after school there's college & then work & if I'm struggling now who knows how I'll be able to cope with an even bigger workload years from now.
No cause is an invalid cause in my books.
 
NoLifeNoPain

NoLifeNoPain

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Jun 17, 2018
1,364
Don't worry, you are not the only one... I don't want to live like a slave neither.

Seriously, what's the problem people have with this? I had the opportunity of have a "decent" life and even being integrated in this shit society and I refused it. There is nothing wrong with this.

Exactly. If someone doesn't want to obey the status quo he should be free to go.
 
R

Rebirth

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Jun 20, 2018
68
Being an Adult Children of Alcoholic (ACOA), which means I have Complex PTSD. Grew up with my father's threats of killing the whole family and many more insanity
I used to be full of potential but because of bad and traumatic parenting I've became a shitty adult. I was smart and good student, now I can't even finish college. I was good looking, now I ugly (balding and aged alot due stress, insomnia and smoking). I used to have friends, lost them all (2 years of isolation). Used to be healthy, now I have gastric disorders, heart problem, insomnia and fkng HPV.
There's more but...yeah.
When you say hpv, what symptoms do you have? Guys don't get tested for it
 
Rocky M

Rocky M

I'm A Monster
Jun 20, 2018
213
Don't worry, you are not the only one... I don't want to live like a slave neither.

Seriously, what's the problem people have with this? I had the opportunity of have a "decent" life and even being integrated in this shit society and I refused it. There is nothing wrong with this.
I know how you feel. I hate being a puppet. I wish I could break free.
 
accidentaldeath

accidentaldeath

Student
May 29, 2018
107
Bad decissions all over my life, since I was a kid I had very clear what I wanted to become in a future, a very cool and badass profession, when I was about to achieve it and was almost there I got fucked up by life, lot of problems took me away from my dream, now forced to study and get a job about something I don't like and never wanted to become. Also a chronic illness of one of my family members, which has been always my best friend. Finally I've reached a point where I'm working 16 hours a day, don't have life at all and the stress is huge. In a few months I went from successfull and happy person to a slave and unhappy person. It's been a long time since I don't want to live anymore so I'm really convinced about it, tried anti depressants and everything but it's not that I'm really depressed, I don't spend the whole day crying most of the day I don't give a fuck about anything and just let the time pass like nothing, just that I think a person shouldn't be forced to live a life he doesn't want to.
 
gayprince.exe

gayprince.exe

Member
Mar 20, 2018
46
Severe depression and PTSD. Nothing like a father raping his own child repeatedly to traumatize them. My mom didn't know about it until years later when I told her but he was abusing her too so she got rid of him. I have social anxiety and I was also diagnosed with mild agoraphobia. Every partner I've ever had has left me because my depression isn't fixed by having a lover. I can't get a job because I put off the interviewer with scars that I can't hide. I'm constantly belittled and honestly, I could go on but I think this reply suffices.
 
NoLifeNoPain

NoLifeNoPain

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Jun 17, 2018
1,364
Severe depression and PTSD. Nothing like a father raping his own child repeatedly to traumatize them. My mom didn't know about it until years later when I told her but he was abusing her too so she got rid of him. I have social anxiety and I was also diagnosed with mild agoraphobia. Every partner I've ever had has left me because my depression isn't fixed by having a lover. I can't get a job because I put off the interviewer with scars that I can't hide. I'm constantly belittled and honestly, I could go on but I think this reply suffices.

I know it doesn't help. But "gives a hug".
 
G

guildford91rs

Member
Jun 22, 2018
47
I don't have any misery as such.
I've recently discovered that other people have the ability to relive past experiences (autobiographical memory). So basically I can recall facts about past experiences but can't relive any emotions attached to said event (ie When I graduated I know *that* I was happy, but can't relive that happiness so wouldn't be able to compare it to my happiness in regards to other events in my life). Basically recalling past experiences is exactly the same as reading about in in a book for me. It's led to me feeling quite detached from life as for me, only the now is something I actually experience.
Combined with sleep apnea that means I'm always exhausted and there just doesn't seem to be any reason to keep struggling on.
 
EternalSanction

EternalSanction

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Jun 7, 2018
252
I'm unhappy with a lot of things. I couldn't do the job I wanted, now I'm stuck in university looking out into a future of relentless working [for what even?]. The worst thing is that I'm not even bad at it, but I have got noone to share it with. I've never met a woman finding interest in me and im losing hope that'll change sometime soon. I've got some friends but it feels like my friendship is superficial as I can not/do not talk to them about "important" / personal things; same for my family.
Additionally I suffer from social anxiety of some kind. Whenever I have to talk to people I don't know, go to places I have not been before, or generally enter unknown situations I'm unable to cope. Even the simplest tasks like shoping groceries stresses me out enormously.

Even for me this all sounds very light compared to sufferings some people on here have to endure, this somehow makes it even worse for me.
 
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usrnm80

Member
Jun 15, 2018
7
Mental illnesses, abuse, bullying, wasted childhood, wasted body, inability to co-exist with anyone.
Even when I can pick myself up it's short lived and every next day is at risk of being the one when I physically can't get myself out of bed and that's just sends me back to the bottom instantly.

Society. The competition, the absolutely meaningless social rituals, the inequality, I'm idiotically sensitive to it.
 
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