Hollowillow

Hollowillow

I want throat hugs & anime! Can't use chat pm me
Aug 7, 2022
1,251
I'm sorry if it's rude to ask... but I thought we were friends... but he grew distant, didn't say goodbye to me not even the site... Is he ok...?

Am I such a bad friend that I make people leave? I'm so sorry... He probably had other issues, but not saying goodbye makes me feel like I was meaningless and trying to make friends is futile because no one tryly cares... I hope he's ok...

Someone who liked popcorn, maybe with it in his name, tried to ctb with insulin but then called for help. Does anyone knows if he's ok? I can't find his goodbye post...

I've been feeling such despair... And physical pain... It's getting harder to reach out... To trust... To dare to open up... To bother people. I'm so grateful that people pmed me but I'm scared to ruin it... I hurt summers, I thought we made peace... But maybe I should have left him alone... But I needed him to know that I didn't think badly of him... I was just scared because I haven't loved in a long time...

I wish I had succeeded my ctb attempts... I feel so miserable... Even when people say they care they don't enough to say goodbye?
 
Hollowillow

Hollowillow

I want throat hugs & anime! Can't use chat pm me
Aug 7, 2022
1,251
I think you are thinking of @Popcornmew in this thread? https://sanctioned-suicide.org/threads/ctb-with-insulin-tonight.98170/

I was wondering about Summers, myself. Possibly banned?
Why would a senior with 1k post be banned? I need negative comments ... He was polite...
Yes it sounds like the guy, what happened? Ill go read
Summers comments in this thread may be the straw that broke the camels back. https://sanctioned-suicide.org/threads/is-it-abuse-if-you-are-the-boss-mentor.98440/post-1709514

There's actually a thread for asking about members. The members questions thread. 🙂
Cant be that bad... Ill go read... Where is the member thread? Sorry im new
 
S

Smart No More

Visionary
May 5, 2021
2,476
TBF Summers wasn't always "polite". I have no issues with them but they certainly made controversial statements at times.

As far as the members thread you can find it using the search function. Search members questions thread. I can't be bothered to do it for you just now.
 
M

makethepainstop

Wizard
Sep 16, 2022
656
I'm sorry if it's rude to ask... but I thought we were friends... but he grew distant, didn't say goodbye to me not even the site... Is he ok...?

Am I such a bad friend that I make people leave? I'm so sorry... He probably had other issues, but not saying goodbye makes me feel like I was meaningless and trying to make friends is futile because no one tryly cares... I hope he's ok...

Someone who liked popcorn, maybe with it in his name, tried to ctb with insulin but then called for help. Does anyone knows if he's ok? I can't find his goodbye post...

I've been feeling such despair... And physical pain... It's getting harder to reach out... To trust... To dare to open up... To bother people. I'm so grateful that people pmed me but I'm scared to ruin it... I hurt summers, I thought we made peace... But maybe I should have left him alone... But I needed him to know that I didn't think badly of him... I was just scared because I haven't loved in a long time...

I wish I had succeeded my ctb attempts... I feel so miserable... Even when people say they care they don't enough to say goodbye?
You are NOT such a bad friend. Now you just get that idea right out of your head.
Often our type of people feel things very strongly, so they may be quite for a spell.
In this accursed world just having someone to talk to can provide a relief denied even unto prayer. It is also possible that those folks may have ctb, that is always a possibility for our people. Much love and a good strong hug to you!
 
Hollowillow

Hollowillow

I want throat hugs & anime! Can't use chat pm me
Aug 7, 2022
1,251
TBF Summers wasn't always "polite". I have no issues with them but they certainly made controversial statements at times.

As far as the members thread you can find it using the search function. Search members questions thread. I can't be bothered to do it for you just now.
I loved him for being blunt. He was brutal but to protect women... Like me... He knows a lot of abused women.

Controversy helps us open our minds to new ideas


Which forum section has the member thread? They confuse me
You are NOT such a bad friend. Now you just get that idea right out of your head.
Often our type of people feel things very strongly, so they may be quite for a spell.
In this accursed world just having someone to talk to can provide a relief denied even unto prayer. It is also possible that those folks may have ctb, that is always a possibility for our people. Much love and a good strong hug to you!
Thank you... Summersvasked me to live, ctb without telling me goodbye would be mean... But I tried myself in a moment of shock... Maybe that's why he grew distant...? I hope he's ok...
You are NOT such a bad friend. Now you just get that idea right out of your head.
Often our type of people feel things very strongly, so they may be quite for a spell.
In this accursed world just having someone to talk to can provide a relief denied even unto prayer. It is also possible that those folks may have ctb, that is always a possibility for our people. Much love and a good strong hug to you!
Thanks... For some weird reason my brain didn't acknowledge your hugs... Must be despair making me blind *hugs*
 
Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

Will survive somehow
Nov 25, 2021
1,064
Am I such a bad friend that I make people leave? ... I was just scared because I haven't loved in a long time. He was brutal but to protect women.
It was absolutely 100% not your fault. I don't think you knew the real summers because the protection was a facade, and you weren't the only woman he was in contact with or trying to get into bed. He tried to get my details off-site and would talk about his other targets. I blocked him when he said women have a very easy life because they can get fucked anytime, unlike men. He definitely didn't think women were abused. Many of your posts are relatable to someone on here, I think you've had too much sadness in your life like many of us on here. There's 100% nothing wrong with you imo. I say all of this for your sake.

Summers comments in this thread may be the straw that broke the camels back. https://sanctioned-suicide.org/threads/is-it-abuse-if-you-are-the-boss-mentor.98440/post-1709514

There's actually a thread for asking about members. The members questions thread. 🙂
I somehow doubt it was that specific thread, I find those comments really tame. They would post misogynistic stuff, mostly about how women have it easy, or tell people to murder other people with firearms, both examples more than once. There was a post recently where someone was raped by her partner, and he said it was her fault, victim-blamed her. I won't link the thread out of respect for them, it already got derailed badly and locked by Rain. They'd mix this in with heavy amounts of virtue-signalling, so basically a closet misogynist. Imho they self-banned, and were indignant with moderators whenever they got actioned. They probably felt they were above the moderators.


Perhaps the "popcorn" guy was someone who had an avatar of a person eating popcorn? I can't think of who that is, it's a possibility. I'm sure they miss you back.
 
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S

Smart No More

Visionary
May 5, 2021
2,476
It was absolutely 100% not your fault. I don't think you knew the real summers because the protection was a facade, and you weren't the only woman he was in contact with or trying to get into bed. He tried to get my details off-site and would talk about his other targets. I blocked him when he said women have a very easy life because they can get fucked anytime, unlike men. He definitely didn't think women were abused. Many of your posts are relatable to someone on here, I think you've had too much sadness in your life like many of us on here. There's 100% nothing wrong with you imo.


I somehow doubt it was that specific thread, I find those comments really tame. They would post misogynistic stuff, mostly about how women have it easy, or tell people to murder other people with firearms, both examples more than once. There was a post recently where someone was raped by her partner, and he said it was her fault, victim-blamed her. I won't link the thread out of respect for them, it already got derailed badly and locked by Rain. They'd mix this in with heavy amounts of virtue-signalling, so basically a closet misogynist. Imho they self-banned, and were indignant with moderators whenever they got actioned.


Perhaps the "popcorn" guy was someone who had an avatar of a person eating popcorn? I can't think of who that is, it's a possibility. I'm sure they miss you back.
You're probably right. It's just that last comment of his last post "you can't commit suicide fast enough" is something I'm not sure the mods could look past.

Like you, I saw a lot of other jarring posts in the past though.

OP just search members questions thread in the search bar and you should find the thread you're looking for. I can't remember what section it's in. If I could pull it up easy I'd post a link but I'd have to do the same as you would to find it right now.
 
Hollowillow

Hollowillow

I want throat hugs & anime! Can't use chat pm me
Aug 7, 2022
1,251
It was absolutely 100% not your fault. I don't think you knew the real summers because the protection was a facade, and you weren't the only woman he was in contact with. He tried to get my details off-site and would talk about his other targets. I blocked him when he said women have a very easy life because they can get fucked anytime, unlike men. He definitely didn't think women were abused. Many of your posts are relatable to someone on here, I think you've had too much sadness in your life like many of us on here. There's 100% nothing wrong with you imo.


I somehow doubt it was that specific thread, I find those comments really tame. They would post misogynistic stuff, mostly about how women have it easy, or tell people to murder other people with firearms, both examples more than once. There was a post recently where someone was raped by her partner, and he said it was her fault, victim-blamed her. They'd mix this in with heavy amounts of virtue-signalling, so basically a closet misogynist. Imho they self-banned, and were indignant with moderators whenever they got actioned.


Perhaps the "popcorn" guy was someone who had an avatar of a person eating popcorn? I can't think of who that is, it's a possibility. I'm sure they miss you back.
Summers was honest about being in open relationshipd... Since I don't want sex I eondeted if it's be convenient to be in a harem whith other girls to give him sex. I didn't know he was into you too. In the end, he asked what he could do for me, I asked a hug and a video chat. He gave me neither but gave me his photos when I gave mine (just regular face stuff because he said my face was probably pretty even with scars from the avid in my home melting my everything...) He didn't say any compliment... I longed for his love. I think his angry comment was genuine women protection... But his man privilege probably blinded him to how hard it is for women... Sure we can get raped... But decent enjoyable sex? Harder.

Thank you for telling me that my posts are relatable...

I freak out that you're dead when I see the X on your avatar. I wondered if you were a man into sexy avatars or a woman. Nice to get to know you better.

Why did summers self ban? Without saying goodbye? I feel worse if he had the choice.

Who else was in his harem, we could be friends?

I have a hard time coming since I saw photos of someone in extreme physical srlf inflicted suffering... I can't help anyone not even myself...

I wish I could be... Thank you *hugs*
 
Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

Will survive somehow
Nov 25, 2021
1,064
You're probably right. It's just that last comment of his last post "you can't commit suicide fast enough" is something I'm not sure the mods could look past. Like you, I saw a lot of other jarring posts in the past though.
I'd skimmed that thread since I wanted to see if there were new posts, I'd read it before, and forgotten about that comment. You're right, that's an all-around awful thing to say. There were similar posts at the end of the rape thread I mentioned and afaik they were actioned. I didn't report any of these, to be fair all these comments got actioned or posted before I even see them. It's the closeted misogyny that gets my goat.
 
Hollowillow

Hollowillow

I want throat hugs & anime! Can't use chat pm me
Aug 7, 2022
1,251
You're probably right. It's just that last comment of his last post "you can't commit suicide fast enough" is something I'm not sure the mods could look past.

Like you, I saw a lot of other jarring posts in the past though.

OP just search members questions thread in the search bar and you should find the thread you're looking for. I can't remember what section it's in. If I could pull it up easy I'd post a link but I'd have to do the same as you would to find it right now.
Yeah .. i agree that this comment went too far. I say stuff about murder too so I hope he'd just get a warning since he's usually wise and posted a lot...

A guy said that he's the worst and doesn't deserve love. I said that if he's a pedophile to please jump in the nearest wood chipper feet first, but he sounds like a sad child so that he doesn't need to hold back to call his mother. I was trying to make him see who truly deserve to be hated by comparison and that I would be less nice to those... So to feel worthy of kindness... But it could easily be jumped to a ban worthy conclusion.

I thought I was hilarious but I'm mentally broken... So... I hope I didn't hurt him.
 
Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

Will survive somehow
Nov 25, 2021
1,064
Summers was honest about being in open relationshipd... Since I don't want sex I eondeted if it's be convenient to be in a harem whith other girls to give him sex. I didn't know he was into you too. In the end, he asked what he could do for me, I asked a hug and a video chat. He gave me neither but gave me his photos when I gave mine (just regular face stuff because he said my face was probably pretty even with scars from the avid in my home melting my everything...) He didn't say any compliment... I longed for his love. I think his angry comment was genuine women protection... But his man privilege probably blinded him to how hard it is for women... Sure we can get raped... But decent enjoyable sex? Harder.

Thank you for telling me that my posts are relatable...

I freak out that you're dead when I see the X on your avatar. I wondered if you were a man into sexy avatars or a woman. Nice to get to know you better.

Why did summers self ban? Without saying goodbye? I feel worse if he had the choice.

Who else was in his harem, we could be friends?

I have a hard time coming since I saw photos of someone in extreme physical srlf inflicted suffering... I can't help anyone not even myself...

I wish I could be... Thank you *hugs*
It sounds to me like you have your head on your shoulders mostly, but to think that he wouldn't want sex from you too I think is naive. People shouldn't be trying to collect a harem of suicidal women on SaSu either, it's not the right reason to be here and very predatory behaviour. Then again I have a better overall picture of him. There were some insights about him I didn't realise until someone else posted about him or quoted him, so I was naive about some things too.

I'm sorry he never paid you a compliment. I never know exactly what to say when someone sends me their pic but people seem grateful for compliments.

I keep my information generally private, I'm non-binary anyway, if that makes sense. It's hard for me not to be. I do think women are abused and have things pretty horrible all-around. So do trans people. And so on.

If I had to hazard why self-ban, it would be from arguing over the rape thread. I still think that whole thread was really unfair and unsupportive. I see similarities between that OP and you, so maybe you two could be friends. My DMS are always open too. I'm trying not to get attached to anyone and vice versa, because boundaries are needed when people are suicidal and could end their lives.

It was a long time ago, I think for example he was fighting over a girl with another user, not sure they want me to say who, out of respect I won't because I believe they ctb a long time ago and were well-liked. Someone else might come forward and say that summers was trying to get their off-site details too.

You don't need to help anyone else. Your life is your own. I would send you hugs if you needed them.

The X on my avatar is a massive cry for help and cope on my behalf . I'm in an impossible situation(homeless) and want to ctb really badly, I did intend to ctb which is why the X but it's so hard. I'm sorry it makes you freak out. I changed my picture to another that still reflects my general feelings.
I say stuff about murder too.

A guy said that he's the worst and doesn't deserve love. I said that if he's a pedophile to please jump in the nearest wood chipper feet first, but he sounds like a sad child so that he doesn't need to hold back to call his mother. I was trying to make him see who truly deserve to be hated by comparison and that I would be less nice to those... So to feel worthy of kindness... But it could easily be jumped to a ban worthy conclusion.

I thought I was hilarious but I'm mentally broken... So... I hope I didn't hurt him.
I saw you post about self-murder, which is different. I also think that's the kind of thing younger generation post sometimes, in humour or desperation. I think posts like that can draw the wrong kind of attention too (it was a sex+murder comment), as long as you're careful you should be ok.

The other comment, I'm sure you were joking. Some people take things seriously. You said yourself you never intended to hurt them. I'm sure there's a chance he could see your intent and that you cared, it's hard to see over the internet / when sad sometimes.

Forgot to add, all of this makes me think about the people that are having a rough time. I'm most worried about Rain, she's the one that has to deal with everyone's petty issues at the end of the day, run the site and she's under an incredible amount of pressure. That's very hard to do when you're suicidal too.
 
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Littlewittlelight

Littlewittlelight

Experienced
Sep 3, 2022
282
I'm sorry if it's rude to ask... but I thought we were friends... but he grew distant, didn't say goodbye to me not even the site... Is he ok...?

Am I such a bad friend that I make people leave? I'm so sorry... He probably had other issues, but not saying goodbye makes me feel like I was meaningless and trying to make friends is futile because no one tryly cares... I hope he's ok...

Someone who liked popcorn, maybe with it in his name, tried to ctb with insulin but then called for help. Does anyone knows if he's ok? I can't find his goodbye post...

I've been feeling such despair... And physical pain... It's getting harder to reach out... To trust... To dare to open up... To bother people. I'm so grateful that people pmed me but I'm scared to ruin it... I hurt summers, I thought we made peace... But maybe I should have left him alone... But I needed him to know that I didn't think badly of him... I was just scared because I haven't loved in a long time...

I wish I had succeeded my ctb attempts... I feel so miserable... Even when people say they care they don't enough to say goodbye?
I don't have anything to say but I am hurt. I am so hurt today but I don't know all I want to do is sleep and just somehow want this 1 month to pass in a snap I can't take it anymore. I am waiting to see if I really have the balls to do it next month when I thought I would do because I got some of my ingredients especially the most important one NS but I think my urge isn't as strong and I can just lay down numb without wanting to move but I have to move a little and I feel now I don't want to either get better or end it.
 
Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

Will survive somehow
Nov 25, 2021
1,064
I don't have anything to say but I am hurt. I am so hurt today but I don't know all I want to do is sleep and just somehow want this 1 month to pass in a snap I can't take it anymore. I am waiting to see if I really have the balls to do it next month when I thought I would do because I got some of my ingredients especially the most important one NS but I think my urge isn't as strong and I can just lay down numb without wanting to move but I have to move a little and I feel now I don't want to either get better or end it.
I hope you and OP both find solace in something soon. I'm sorry you're both hurting.
 
Littlewittlelight

Littlewittlelight

Experienced
Sep 3, 2022
282
I hope you and OP both find solace in something soon. I'm sorry you're both hurting.
Yeah I am in their shoes after trying hard to get online connection again for 3-4 months I now again know it doesn't matter, it never did. This would always suck and people could care less you know I am in their shoes right now. I hope everyone finds peace atleast not suffer because of these so called human interactions.
 
Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

Will survive somehow
Nov 25, 2021
1,064
Yeah I am in their shoes after trying hard to get online connection again for 3-4 months I now again know it doesn't matter, it never did. This would always suck and people could care less you know I am in their shoes right now. I hope everyone finds peace atleast not suffer because of these so called human interactions.
Now I understand better why you made the original comment here. I'm sorry that somebody hurt you. Human interaction is really rough.
 
Littlewittlelight

Littlewittlelight

Experienced
Sep 3, 2022
282
Now I understand better why you made the original comment here. I'm sorry that somebody hurt you. Human interaction is really rough.
Yeah lol it's so hard very long story. I actually have it like that but I get over it because I am a yeah my zodiac and I am use to it but it hurts yeah it does because I didn't want and I know I also have planned to finish myself and even told them they got it they did what they could and I am doing what I can that wasn't the reason. I just said to them I will stay strong but yeah long story short it's hurting a little which should pass and I wouldn't care as much because I also have accepted that anything normal is not in my fate. It just helps when you lower your expectations
Yeah lol it's so hard very long story. I actually have it like that but I get over it because I am a yeah my zodiac and I am use to it but it hurts yeah it does because I didn't want and I know I also have planned to finish myself and even told them they got it they did what they could and I am doing what I can that wasn't the reason. I just said to them I will stay strong but yeah long story short it's hurting a little which should pass and I wouldn't care as much because I also have accepted that anything normal is not in my fate. It just helps when you lower your expectations
Don't wanna capture op's thread sorry op all I wanted to say is I am in the same situation and we need to lower expectations I guess you could try anything. I will try maybe it will dwindle either way the end is always near and noone is taking anything to heaven or hell whatever they believe in. Everything on earth that causes pain is related to humans trust me and lowering expections is impossible but I know rocks don't talk they don't move animals are pretty docile and I don't mean humans should be like dogs but still it is caused by humans and sometimes I am the person who causes pain sometimes they do so it's okay maybe and I forgive but this is all earth has to offer I think and it's so fine. I am okay just like a manchild.
 
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Hollowillow

Hollowillow

I want throat hugs & anime! Can't use chat pm me
Aug 7, 2022
1,251
It sounds to me like you have your head on your shoulders mostly, but to think that he wouldn't want sex from you too I think is naive. People shouldn't be trying to collect a harem of suicidal women on SaSu either, it's not the right reason to be here and very predatory behaviour. Then again I have a better overall picture of him. There were some insights about him I didn't realise until someone else posted about him or quoted him, so I was naive about some things too.

I'm sorry he never paid you a compliment. I never know exactly what to say when someone sends me their pic but people seem grateful for compliments.

I keep my information generally private, I'm non-binary anyway, if that makes sense. It's hard for me not to be. I do think women are abused and have things pretty horrible all-around. So do trans people. And so on.

If I had to hazard why self-ban, it would be from arguing over the rape thread. I still think that whole thread was really unfair and unsupportive. I see similarities between that OP and you, so maybe you two could be friends. My DMS are always open too. I'm trying not to get attached to anyone and vice versa, because boundaries are needed when people are suicidal and could end their lives.

It was a long time ago, I think for example he was fighting over a girl with another user, not sure they want me to say who, out of respect I won't because I believe they ctb a long time ago and were well-liked. Someone else might come forward and say that summers was trying to get their off-site details too.

You don't need to help anyone else. Your life is your own. I would send you hugs if you needed them.

The X on my avatar is a massive cry for help and cope on my behalf . I'm in an impossible situation(homeless) and want to ctb really badly, I did intend to ctb which is why the X but it's so hard. I'm sorry it makes you freak out. I changed my picture to another that still reflects my general feelings.

I saw you post about self-murder, which is different. I also think that's the kind of thing younger generation post sometimes, in humour or desperation. I think posts like that can draw the wrong kind of attention too (it was a sex+murder comment), as long as you're careful you should be ok.

The other comment, I'm sure you were joking. Some people take things seriously. You said yourself you never intended to hurt them. I'm sure there's a chance he could see your intent and that you cared, it's hard to see over the internet / when sad sometimes.

Forgot to add, all of this makes me think about the people that are having a rough time. I'm most worried about Rain, she's the one that has to deal with everyone's petty issues at the end of the day, run the site and she's under an incredible amount of pressure. That's very hard to do when you're suicidal too.
He told me that he visited someone from ss in canada before? I wouldn't mind if he cared deeply fir many women, but if he left without saying goodbye... I wasn't one if them...

I like your new avatar. How do you survive homeless? Tips? It might happen to me... I wish someone could let you live with them. Many want to ctb from loneliness...

Rape thread? The BDSM one? The bunny guy is my friend but I'm no longer into bdsm and I would have been the dominant one.

I have a hard time with boundaries... I need to bond even if the person will die... Everybody dies...

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. Feel free to pm me.
I like the new avatar. Rain is a girl!? Wow... Even harder on sensitive women... I want to befriend our gid but I'm scared to look like I just don't want to get my ass banned. I usually hate authority... But she created such special place... I want to know her
I don't have anything to say but I am hurt. I am so hurt today but I don't know all I want to do is sleep and just somehow want this 1 month to pass in a snap I can't take it anymore. I am waiting to see if I really have the balls to do it next month when I thought I would do because I got some of my ingredients especially the most important one NS but I think my urge isn't as strong and I can just lay down numb without wanting to move but I have to move a little and I feel now I don't want to either get better or end it.
I feel like that too... Since month. It started as physical pain, then psychological abuse from people paid to help me shattered me... What happened to you? It'd be better to make your own post because not everyone read all comments, so you'd get more replies. Summers helped me hold on but now I have a broken heart added to the pile of sorrows... I feel unworthy too...
I don't have anything to say but I am hurt. I am so hurt today but I don't know all I want to do is sleep and just somehow want this 1 month to pass in a snap I can't take it anymore. I am waiting to see if I really have the balls to do it next month when I thought I would do because I got some of my ingredients especially the most important one NS but I think my urge isn't as strong and I can just lay down numb without wanting to move but I have to move a little and I feel now I don't want to either get better or end it.
I feel like that too... Since month. It started as physical pain, then psychological abuse from people paid to help me shattered me... What happened to you? It'd be better to make your own post because not everyone read all comments, so you'd get more replies. Summers helped me hold on but now I have a broken heart added to the pile of sorrows... I feel unworthy too...
Yeah I am in their shoes after trying hard to get online connection again for 3-4 months I now again know it doesn't matter, it never did. This would always suck and people could care less you know I am in their shoes right now. I hope everyone finds peace atleast not suffer because of these so called human interactions.
It's so hard... People are kind here... Or was it just superficial politeness? It's so hard to connect ... Someone lived near me ... I think he died...
 
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ojinzo

ojinzo

Specialist
Feb 21, 2022
305
I'm sorry if it's rude to ask... but I thought we were friends... but he grew distant, didn't say goodbye to me not even the site... Is he ok...?

Am I such a bad friend that I make people leave? I'm so sorry... He probably had other issues, but not saying goodbye makes me feel like I was meaningless and trying to make friends is futile because no one tryly cares... I hope he's ok...

Someone who liked popcorn, maybe with it in his name, tried to ctb with insulin but then called for help. Does anyone knows if he's ok? I can't find his goodbye post...

I've been feeling such despair... And physical pain... It's getting harder to reach out... To trust... To dare to open up... To bother people. I'm so grateful that people pmed me but I'm scared to ruin it... I hurt summers, I thought we made peace... But maybe I should have left him alone... But I needed him to know that I didn't think badly of him... I was just scared because I haven't loved in a long time...

I wish I had succeeded my ctb attempts... I feel so miserable... Even when people say they care they don't enough to say goodbye?
This is beautiful to me♥️
 
Hollowillow

Hollowillow

I want throat hugs & anime! Can't use chat pm me
Aug 7, 2022
1,251
Yeah I am in their shoes after trying hard to get online connection again for 3-4 months I now again know it doesn't matter, it never did. This would always suck and people could care less you know I am in their shoes right now. I hope everyone finds peace atleast not suffer because of these so called human interactions.
It's so hard... People are kind here... Or was it just superficial politeness? It's so hard to connect ... Someone lived near me ... I think he died...
Yeah lol it's so hard very long story. I actually have it like that but I get over it because I am a yeah my zodiac and I am use to it but it hurts yeah it does because I didn't want and I know I also have planned to finish myself and even told them they got it they did what they could and I am doing what I can that wasn't the reason. I just said to them I will stay strong but yeah long story short it's hurting a little which should pass and I wouldn't care as much because I also have accepted that anything normal is not in my fate. It just helps when you lower your expectations

Don't wanna capture op's thread sorry op all I wanted to say is I am in the same situation and we need to lower expectations I guess you could try anything. I will try maybe it will dwindle either way the end is always near and noone is taking anything to heaven or hell whatever they believe in. Everything on earth that causes pain is related to humans trust me and lowering expections is impossible but I know rocks don't talk they don't move animals are pretty docile and I don't mean humans should be like dogs but still it is caused by humans and sometimes I am the person who causes pain sometimes they do so it's okay maybe and I forgive but this is all earth has to offer I think and it's so fine. I am okay just like a manchild.
I try to enjoy while it lasts... And only expect what they agree to give... But I can't even have that. People are just talk and run away when it's the time to do it... I just wanted a hug.
This is beautiful to me♥️
Thank you. You're kinda my type too by the way. You had me at seppuku. Feel free to pm me ❤️ Hahaha! I don't think I can fall in love but I wanted to be your friend since the moment I saw you.
 
Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

Will survive somehow
Nov 25, 2021
1,064
I like your new avatar. How do you survive homeless? Tips? It might happen to me... I wish someone could let you live with them. Many want to ctb from loneliness...

Rape thread? The BDSM one? The bunny guy is my friend but I'm no longer into bdsm and I would have been the dominant one.

I have a hard time with boundaries... I need to bond even if the person will die... Everybody dies...

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. Feel free to pm me.
I like the new avatar. Rain is a girl!? Wow... Even harder on sensitive women... I want to befriend our gid but I'm scared to look like I just don't want to get my ass banned. I usually hate authority... But she created such special place... I want to know her

I feel like that too... Since month. It started as physical pain, then psychological abuse from people paid to help me shattered me... I feel unworthy too...

Thank you about my avatar. It's my second time homeless. It's hard, it's a dead-end for most people. I don't have advice. I'd live with the right person, I mostly just want someone to take care of.

It was a different thread. I'm interested that you would've been the dominant one. True, everybody dies, I'm ok with connections that are partially mutual. I can't bear caring about someone far more than they do me, not right now anyway.

I already sent you a DM but I can send you another. You should send some kind words to Rain, she's human with feelings like the rest of us. She's impartial so don't worry.

I'm sorry that the people who were supposed to help you gave you abuse instead. Maybe it was out of ignorance instead of malice, still it's awful. I'm sorry you feel unworthy right now.
 
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Hollowillow

Hollowillow

I want throat hugs & anime! Can't use chat pm me
Aug 7, 2022
1,251
Thank you about my avatar. It's my second time homeless. It's hard, it's a dead-end for most people. I don't have advice. I'd live with the right person, I mostly just want someone to take care of.

It was a different thread. I'm interested that you would've been the dominant one. True, everybody dies, I'm ok with connections that are partially mutual. I can't bear caring about someone far more than they do me, not right now anyway.

I already sent you a DM but I can send you another. You should send some kind words to Rain, she's human with feelings like the rest of us. She's impartial so don't worry.

I'm sorry that the people who were supposed to help you gave you abuse instead. Maybe it was out of ignorance instead of malice, still it's awful. I'm sorry you feel unworthy right now.
Thank you. Can you send a conversation? I don't see the chat feature... I suck at it. I can't find your pm?

How did you escape homelessness the first time? You'd like to care for someone? You'd be a great roomate for someone in pain here. I wish I could.

Yeah, it sucks when someone doesn't even hug back. I wanted to be a dominant bdsm decades ago. Now I just want affection.

Doctors think that if they don't find what you have easily, they call you insane to hide their ignorance... Laziness... Sexism... And they don't have more than 20 minutes per patient... Not enough time...

Thank you for comforting me. My brain has a hard time focussing, sorry if I skipped topics.
 
Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

Will survive somehow
Nov 25, 2021
1,064
Thank you. Can you send a conversation? I don't see the chat feature.

How did you escape homelessness the first time? You'd like to care for someone? You'd be a great roomate for someone in pain here. I wish I could.

Yeah, it sucks when someone doesn't even hug back. I wanted to be a dominant bdsm decades ago. Now I just want affection.

Doctors think that if they don't find what you have easily, they call you insane to hide their ignorance... Laziness... Sexism... And they don't have more than 20 minutes per patient... Not enough time...

Thank you for comforting me. My brain has a hard time focussing, sorry if I skipped topics.
Sure thing, I'll do that now.

I became too lonely and went back to my abusive family, I had ran away from home which is why I was homeless. Everything had fallen apart in the short period while I was gone, my parents had divorced, my siblings had fallen out. They needed their scapegoat lol. This time around, it's not even an option.

Affection is better, I'd agree. It's true, lots of people are ignorant about many things, doctors aren't an exception, they have to undergo a very broad education which makes it general. It takes specialists for some people to even have a chance at understanding some things. Sexism is one of the worst things. The short periods where you can have an appointment with the doctor also makes the whole thing feel very dismissive sometimes.

I'm glad I could comfort you, you don't have to answer anything, you didn't skip:)
 
emgrl

emgrl

Arcanist
Aug 6, 2022
435
I'm sorry if it's rude to ask... but I thought we were friends... but he grew distant, didn't say goodbye to me not even the site... Is he ok...?

Am I such a bad friend that I make people leave? I'm so sorry... He probably had other issues, but not saying goodbye makes me feel like I was meaningless and trying to make friends is futile because no one tryly cares... I hope he's ok...

Someone who liked popcorn, maybe with it in his name, tried to ctb with insulin but then called for help. Does anyone knows if he's ok? I can't find his goodbye post...

I've been feeling such despair... And physical pain... It's getting harder to reach out... To trust... To dare to open up... To bother people. I'm so grateful that people pmed me but I'm scared to ruin it... I hurt summers, I thought we made peace... But maybe I should have left him alone... But I needed him to know that I didn't think badly of him... I was just scared because I haven't loved in a long time...

I wish I had succeeded my ctb attempts... I feel so miserable... Even when people say they care they don't enough to say goodbye?
I’m sending you all of my huggggs! 🤗 You aren’t alone, please remember that ❤️
 
Littlewittlelight

Littlewittlelight

Experienced
Sep 3, 2022
282
He told me that he visited someone from ss in canada before? I wouldn't mind if he cared deeply fir many women, but if he left without saying goodbye... I wasn't one if them...

I like your new avatar. How do you survive homeless? Tips? It might happen to me... I wish someone could let you live with them. Many want to ctb from loneliness...

Rape thread? The BDSM one? The bunny guy is my friend but I'm no longer into bdsm and I would have been the dominant one.

I have a hard time with boundaries... I need to bond even if the person will die... Everybody dies...

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. Feel free to pm me.
I like the new avatar. Rain is a girl!? Wow... Even harder on sensitive women... I want to befriend our gid but I'm scared to look like I just don't want to get my ass banned. I usually hate authority... But she created such special place... I want to know her

I feel like that too... Since month. It started as physical pain, then psychological abuse from people paid to help me shattered me... What happened to you? It'd be better to make your own post because not everyone read all comments, so you'd get more replies. Summers helped me hold on but now I have a broken heart added to the pile of sorrows... I feel unworthy too...

I feel like that too... Since month. It started as physical pain, then psychological abuse from people paid to help me shattered me... What happened to you? It'd be better to make your own post because not everyone read all comments, so you'd get more replies. Summers helped me hold on but now I have a broken heart added to the pile of sorrows... I feel unworthy too...

It's so hard... People are kind here... Or was it just superficial politeness? It's so hard to connect ... Someone lived near me ... I think he died...
Thank you for the words I have struggled enough in life and I can't be normal all I wanted was some online connections and they were from some places I met and I know they can't care that much a lot happened you know what Huggies. I will give you guys a hug.
He told me that he visited someone from ss in canada before? I wouldn't mind if he cared deeply fir many women, but if he left without saying goodbye... I wasn't one if them...

I like your new avatar. How do you survive homeless? Tips? It might happen to me... I wish someone could let you live with them. Many want to ctb from loneliness...

Rape thread? The BDSM one? The bunny guy is my friend but I'm no longer into bdsm and I would have been the dominant one.

I have a hard time with boundaries... I need to bond even if the person will die... Everybody dies...

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. Feel free to pm me.
I like the new avatar. Rain is a girl!? Wow... Even harder on sensitive women... I want to befriend our gid but I'm scared to look like I just don't want to get my ass banned. I usually hate authority... But she created such special place... I want to know her

I feel like that too... Since month. It started as physical pain, then psychological abuse from people paid to help me shattered me... What happened to you? It'd be better to make your own post because not everyone read all comments, so you'd get more replies. Summers helped me hold on but now I have a broken heart added to the pile of sorrows... I feel unworthy too...

I feel like that too... Since month. It started as physical pain, then psychological abuse from people paid to help me shattered me... What happened to you? It'd be better to make your own post because not everyone read all comments, so you'd get more replies. Summers helped me hold on but now I have a broken heart added to the pile of sorrows... I feel unworthy too...

It's so hard... People are kind here... Or was it just superficial politeness? It's so hard to connect ... Someone lived near me ... I think he died...
No they weren't from here. I hadn't thought of things serious before now I do I met most of them 10 months ago and one yeah one I was trusting left me on read and then even post memes on being left on read. I had to block I don't know what their intentions were but I wasn't attached to them and then another happened yesterday I had to block again one more because I know my end is near. Maybe I don't want to hurt them and maybe they really can't do anything I even disclosed I would just maybe go and I don't know anything after that I just did it for no reason they were supportive but I am having problems again with human interactions.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Wish that I was gone
Sep 24, 2020
15,004
People can be disappointing and unreliable which is why I see it as better to be alone. I also see it as best not to be too trusting of people. Many people only care about what directly affects themselves. I’m sorry that you are trapped in this situation. I also really wish that ctb is easier. I know that it’s so dreadful having to endure an existence which is just constant suffering.
 
Hollowillow

Hollowillow

I want throat hugs & anime! Can't use chat pm me
Aug 7, 2022
1,251
Sure thing, I'll do that now.

I became too lonely and went back to my abusive family, I had ran away from home which is why I was homeless. Everything had fallen apart in the short period while I was gone, my parents had divorced, my siblings had fallen out. They needed their scapegoat lol. This time around, it's not even an option.

Affection is better, I'd agree. It's true, lots of people are ignorant about many things, doctors aren't an exception, they have to undergo a very broad education which makes it general. It takes specialists for some people to even have a chance at understanding some things. Sexism is one of the worst things. The short periods where you can have an appointment with the doctor also makes the whole thing feel very dismissive sometimes.

I'm glad I could comfort you, you don't have to answer anything, you didn't skip:)
My mother has a big house but abandonned my sister homeless & abused by psychiatry when she saw her lover drown and her heart broke. No one would save me if I was homeless too... I hope you'll be ok. Are you homeless now? I'm sorry my memory is bad my brain hurts... I hate to jump to conclusions if I'm unshure... How do you cope? Or even get internet...?
I’m sending you all of my huggggs! 🤗 You aren’t alone, please remember that ❤️
Aw thank you. It's easier from girls since it's more like sisters without pressure to not screw up my one true love, hihi. *Hugs*
People can be disappointing and unreliable which is why I see it as better to be alone. I also see it as best not to be too trusting of people. Many people only care about what directly affects themselves. I’m sorry that you are trapped in this situation. I also really wish that ctb is easier. I know that it’s so dreadful having to endure an existence which is just constant suffering.
Thank you... I had many emotional block preventing me from getting in love... That damn silver haired avatar made me melt. And the way he posted... I was over the moon when he welcomed my affection but I either screwed up or he wasn't the best at hugging back... I wish he spoke to me more to understand wtf... Hard to not snap. Thank you
 
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CTB Dream

CTB Dream

Disabled. Hard talk, don't argue, make fun, etc
Sep 17, 2022
188
Hug completely understand feel , human leave not think other faulty life. Forum here same outer people do samey not understand nature forum people problem have people sad see die each other feel heavy dark place, still human deal same. Real life people assume life deal garbage here people live die ctb different mindset need more care unfortunate human same everywhere no matter even death see same. Maybe idea ctb forum still new humanity deal same way. Sorry talk much but real understand hope feel better hug this cruelty understand
Forget say one day tell similar stories many experience really brutal. Hope all you safe humans interacting terrible
 
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hamvil

hamvil

Mage
Aug 29, 2022
500
Am I such a bad friend that I make people leave? I'm so sorry... He probably had other issues, but not saying goodbye makes me feel like I was meaningless and trying to make friends is futile because no one tryly cares... I hope he's ok...
I do not think you are a bad friend. Most of the people here went through trauma in their lives in the past or are still suffering. Some of us have mental problems as well. Friendship takes a different meaning here. I see your posts and to me you look like a person longing for connection and love (including the friendly one).
've been feeling such despair... And physical pain... It's getting harder to reach out... To trust... To dare to open up... To bother people. I'm so grateful that people pmed me but I'm scared to ruin it... I hurt summers, I thought we made peace... But maybe I should have left him alone... But I needed him to know that I didn't think badly of him... I was just scared because I haven't loved in a long time...
This forum did allow me to open up (maybe too much?), I did not share many things even with my therapist and yet I wrote them here. I have a terror to bother people with PM. I think they would not be interested in what I write. Then I am also worried that they will not reply and that make me feel even more depressed.
I wish I had succeeded my ctb attempts... I feel so miserable... Even when people say they care they don't enough to say goodbye?
Maybe they do not really care?
Yeah .. i agree that this comment went too far. I say stuff about murder too so I hope he'd just get a warning since he's usually wise and posted a lot...
Was not sure if to jump in this this conversation or not. The comment was addressed to me, but honestly I did not think much of it. I did not considered it an awful comment but I have problems in understanding what is right or what is wrong. I do wish I could CTB soon actually.
A guy said that he's the worst and doesn't deserve love. I said that if he's a pedophile to please jump in the nearest wood chipper feet first, but he sounds like a sad child so that he doesn't need to hold back to call his mother. I was trying to make him see who truly deserve to be hated by comparison and that I would be less nice to those... So to feel worthy of kindness... But it could easily be jumped to a ban worthy conclusion.
Well I do not want to get banned, but let's say that talking about pedos I share your views.
Rape thread? The BDSM one? The bunny guy is my friend but I'm no longer into bdsm and I would have been the dominant one.
Rape is not a funny topic nor something to be joked about.

You are also my friend and I am not only into BDSM but also into normal stuff. You can be my domme anything you want, if you respect rules of course.
I have a hard time with boundaries... I need to bond even if the person will die... Everybody dies...
I think it is even more so. It gives closure and allows to experience the bond even more.
It's so hard... People are kind here... Or was it just superficial politeness? It's so hard to connect ... Someone lived near me ... I think he died...
I think you get both real and superficial politness
 
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