RevolutionaryRed

RevolutionaryRed

Member
Apr 8, 2018
55
Do you feel anxious? Are you sad that it has come to this? Do you cry ? Are you at peace with your decision?

I use to cry and feel sad about me thinking about suicide. But now I don't. I'm at peace . I accept that I'm going to die by suicide . And I accept its going to be soon
 
Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
When you have reached rock bottom there is an sense of acceptance.A state where fear has diminished and sucicide just becomes your last goal in life.
I have no regrets.it was a good life until my hubby died and everything changed.I guess the sad part is how your mind let's you down and sucicide becomes the only option no matter how hard you fight.
 
bag.of.cats

bag.of.cats

depressed cats
Apr 10, 2018
96
It brings me to tears because I think about how happy I could've been if I wasn't dealt such a bad hand. I also feel sorry that I have to kill myself, because it feels like I'm killing another person. It's sad that I have no choice given the circumstances. It feels like something you have to do.
 
S

ScaredOfLife

Arcanist
Jul 9, 2018
441
I'm anxious about it because I worry about what life will be like for my husband, sister and cat once I commit suicide. I know life will be bad for them but I can't go on suffering like this. I'd want them to be glad that I was finally at peace. It would be really easy for me if I didn't have to worry about my husband, sister and cat.
 
M

MAIO

Elementalist
Apr 8, 2018
838
Do you feel anxious? Are you sad that it has come to this? Do you cry ? Are you at peace with your decision?

I use to cry and feel sad about me thinking about suicide. But now I don't. I'm at peace . I accept that I'm going to die by suicide . And I accept its going to be soon

It really annoys me how much stigma etc there is in society around suicide. I wish i could openly talk about it.
 
M

Maggotymaggots

-
Apr 18, 2018
54
I can't pretend I'm not afraid of death. The thought of oblivion is frightening to me, though I know rationally it shouldn't be. The thing is, I fear life even more, and I hope that will be enough to allow me to overcome my fear of death.
 
N

Nergal

New Member
Jun 16, 2018
2
Do you feel anxious? Are you sad that it has come to this? Do you cry ? Are you at peace with your decision?

I use to cry and feel sad about me thinking about suicide. But now I don't. I'm at peace . I accept that I'm going to die by suicide . And I accept its going to be soon

Well most of the time my emotions are numb and I don’t pay much attention towards my feelings about suicide. Rarely nowadays I might cry at night regarding all what I did wrong and all the people who hurt me which led me to this situation. But well I can’t time travel and I’m done wishing for the best. I had also settled for a date, not going to mention the exact day for obvious reasons of privacy but it’ll be near the end of summer. When the time comes I can’t be a 100% sure I’ll manage to go all the way through but I hope it all goes according to the plan which is not much: I will overdose on antidepressant tablets that I’ll swallow with wine and before my body gets subjected complemty to the effects I’ll jump from a skyscraper.
 
G

guildford91rs

Member
Jun 22, 2018
47
I don't have a bad life, or have any incident that has affected me or driven me to this decision. I'm just so tired of being alive. I view non-existence as peaceful and calm, and I'm more than ready to rest. I'm not upset or sad about this decision, it's actually something that I look forward too.
 
Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
633
I don't have a bad life, or have any incident that has affected me or driven me to this decision. I'm just so tired of being alive. I view non-existence as peaceful and calm, and I'm more than ready to rest. I'm not upset or sad about this decision, it's actually something that I look forward too.

Same here. I too don't have a bad life, nor have I suffered any major trauma in the past to really "justify" suicide. I'm simply exhausted of existence and have no real reason, or desire to remain alive. My emotional standpoint on the whole thing is essentially a relaxed detachment. It's been that way for essentially my whole life. If there's anything that really bothers me about suicide it's the troublingly slim odds that I'll ever be able to carry it out. I'm just that much of a terrified weakling. A random, unforeseen death seems to be my only hope. Until then, the only other remote hope I have to hold on to is that the slow suicide of daily life will somehow be able do me in at some point sooner than what could be expected. Either that, or, again, maybe a fucking jet engine will fall on top of me Donnie Darko style as I'm sleeping, or something. That'd save me so much damn hassle. Like winning the death lottery.

 
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Threads

Threads

Warlock
Jul 13, 2018
724
Death is a natural part of life. I will inevitably die. I am merely taking control of the only true thing I have control over.

I feel neutral about it. Although to be fair. I haven't had seriously attempted in a long time. I think it'll be different when I put the noose around my neck, needle in my arm, or gun to my head.
 
G

guildford91rs

Member
Jun 22, 2018
47
Same here. I too don't have a bad life, nor have I suffered any major trauma in the past to really "justify" suicide. I'm simply exhausted of existence and have no real reason, or desire to remain alive. My emotional standpoint on the whole thing is essentially a relaxed detachment. It's been that way for essentially my whole life. If there's anything that really bothers me about suicide it's the troublingly slim odds that I'll ever be able to carry it out. I'm just that much of a terrified weakling. A random, unforeseen death seems to be my only hope. Until then, the only other remote hope I have to hold on to is that the slow suicide of daily life will somehow be able do me in at some point sooner than what could be expected. Either that, or, again, maybe a fucking jet engine will fall on top of me Donnie Darko style as I'm sleeping, or something. That'd save me so much damn hassle. Like winning the death lottery.


The only thing holding me back at the moment is that there are 2 people in my life at the moment who I care a lot about and am trying to find ways to improve their lives/ minimise the pain that my ending things will cause them. I'm planning on using nitrogen so I'm not scared as it'll be painless and quick. My only slight fear is that someone will interrupt me midway through, but that should be easily prevented.
 
Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
633
guildford91rs - I'm planning on using nitrogen so I'm not scared as it'll be painless and quick.

Well I still would be, as pathetic as that sounds. You're a much more resolved individual than me it seems. Best of luck to you.
 
S

Sadgirl19

Member
Jul 18, 2018
21
I've only felt really at peace during an attempt or when I think about it a few times.

Most of the time I cry when I think about doing it or have attempted.
I end up crying when I think about other people and how they'll feel, or I cry thinking about what's caused me to feel bad enough to do it.

Seems weird now that I think about it, to be crying thinking about the things that push me towards suicide during an attempt or planning. I should feel more at peace since dying would mean I won't have to feel the pain anymore soon.
 
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New Member
Jun 30, 2018
3
I don't think I'm anywhere close to the day if I'm being honest with myself. At times, I really wish I was, but I'm far too stubborn to let go. Not before I'm completely free of my doubts and let myself go without a care. Not to mention that the act itself terrifies me, no matter the method. I doubt the fear of the act ever completely fades.

Mostly, it's frequent mood swings that do it for me. I still feel anxious, sad and most other forms of despair over it. Yet, at the same time, there's a strange sort of peace of mind at coming up with a conceptual plan to exit, writing a 'mock note' or the like. I've never attempted before, and I'm determined to see it through the first time when the time comes. I know it's there somewhere, at the end of the road just waiting for me. I decide when I leave. I guess that's safety to me.
 
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mattwitt

mattwitt

# 978
Jun 28, 2018
2,307
I haven't cried over myself yet. I feel like I've been backed into a corner and I have no choice but to kill myself like it's the honorable thing for me to do. kind of like a Samurai warrior.
 
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Ssname

Experienced
Jun 30, 2018
268
At this point I feel like I know too much about suiside and methods etc to live a whole life without doing it. Either soonish or at the minimum as an old person to cut short the aging process which has always scared me.
 
ForestDuck

ForestDuck

Member
Jul 11, 2018
45
I think the process itself is the only challenge, regardless of whether it means taking N or jumping, you'll still get the same adrenaline. But I don't fear actually dying because it will happen to us at one stage, atleast this way I am controlling my actions in life, as opposed to the other way round. We don't know where we'll be tomorrow, we don't even know if we'll wake up in the morning. A few moments of panic will be the only challenge and it'll be smooth sailing from there.
 
I

iwant2die

Member
Jul 19, 2018
15
I am ready. I just have to get a gun and some ammo. Then I'll just be able to do it whenever I'm next pushed over the edge.