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IQof87SadButTrue

Member
Jun 11, 2018
35
I love reading books, cultivating new skills and focusing on self improvement. The idea I'm working towards a goal keeps me motivated to not drink N.
This is shameful for me to admit but I also like collecting Pokemon cards.
 
L

Liblib

Member
Jun 17, 2018
9
Another thing, I wouldn't say it make life bearable but awhile back I kinda stole some games from my brother to support mine and ex's habbit and I promised myself I'd replace em one day. So that's one thing that's at least is keeping me around
 
M

millefeui

-
Mar 31, 2018
1,036
My doggo. I also have a good friend who is a sweetie. It pains me that I will hurt him when I kill myself, but I am not staying around for decades just for him.

That aside, I play games, watch nonsense on YouTube, draw... That is it.
 
chronicpainnomore

chronicpainnomore

Not Circling the Drain Anymore
May 31, 2018
310
Meds to control my pain. Now that they're gone, I'm hanging on as long as I can. Life is unbearable for me now. What keeps me hanging on is my family. I don't want to leave them, and I feel like CTB will be giving up on them. But I'm a human being, not Superman. I have limits.
 
T

transgenderfailure

Subhuman Creature
Apr 30, 2018
112
the fact that ill basically drag a family into a bad situation with me... or maybe this is just an illusion of my brain to keep me alive, maybe my family is pretty resilient... ill never find out cause even hinting wanting to ctb at them makes them change subject or look at me like it's crazy that I desire to not feel anything anymore.
 
El Topo

El Topo

(---)
Apr 21, 2018
480
Meds to control my pain. Now that they're gone, I'm hanging on as long as I can. Life is unbearable for me now. What keeps me hanging on is my family. I don't want to leave them, and I feel like CTB will be giving up on them. But I'm a human being, not Superman. I have limits.

Hey man, what exactly happened with the parachute accident? And what kind of damage did it do to your back?
 
chronicpainnomore

chronicpainnomore

Not Circling the Drain Anymore
May 31, 2018
310
Hey man, what exactly happened with the parachute accident? And what kind of damage did it do to your back?
I deployed unstable, so I got wrapped up in the bridle that connects the pilot chute to the main chute. It wrapped around my legs, and pulled them up so I was in a head-down position when the main deployed. So the main snapped open, and I got whipped around and then decelerated from 200 MPH to 5 MPH in about half a second. It was like a high-speed car accident in midair. I was knocked unconscious and woke up on the ground with a broken leg and my L5/S1 disc was blown out. The military surgeons then used me as a guinea pig for a disc replacement that was a piece of shit. I've been in pain ever since.
 
El Topo

El Topo

(---)
Apr 21, 2018
480
I deployed unstable, so I got wrapped up in the bridle that connects the pilot chute to the main chute. It wrapped around my legs, and pulled them up so I was in a head-down position when the main deployed. So the main snapped open, and I got whipped around and then decelerated from 200 MPH to 5 MPH in about half a second. It was like a high-speed car accident in midair. I was knocked unconscious and woke up on the ground with a broken leg and my L5/S1 disc was blown out. The military surgeons then used me as a guinea pig for a disc replacement that was a piece of shit. I've been in pain ever since.

Damn that sucks. The military absolutely uses soldiers as guinea pigs.

I read about a guy who had some spinal condition and had to get surgery every year for 10 years, completely rebuilding his spine. After the final surgery, he went to visit his parents, slipped on the ice, and broke his back, completely undoing the previous 10 years' worth of surgery. So he CTBed...