• If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
  • Hey Visitor,

    In light of recent events, all community members in the US should reach out to their representative in regards to the Stop Online Suicide Assistance Forums Act that has been introduced in congress. This bill, if passed, could criminalize this community and hold it liable for simply hosting information.

    You should be able to locate and contact your represenative by going to this website. You can also contact Lori Trahan, the one spearheading this bill by calling her office at (202) 225-3411 or by leaving a message on the contact form on her site.

    One of the best ways to combat this is to make your voice heard. We're not political activists, but we made this notice to let you know that you do have a voice and that you do have representives that represent you in congress.
cattofiend

cattofiend

Member
Nov 8, 2022
13
There’s two main things stopping me right now. My family, and my pets. If it wasn’t for them I would be gone already but when I look into my cats faces it holds me back every time.
 
Someday_Sometime32

Someday_Sometime32

Member
Jul 20, 2022
48
I wanted to ask this guy I liked out, if he declines it would be shitty for me to ctb directly after. If he accepts, I can't ctb because that would also be shitty
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: not_actually_human
F

freedomcalls

Student
Nov 9, 2022
102
The only reason I don’t CTB right now is that I don’t have access to SN.
I’m looking for it though and when I figure out how to buy it, I will do

I also have dependent children and it will be hard to leave them 💔 I know it will hurt them deeply, but I’m scared of how my depression is going to affect them if I don’t
 
A

AbacusRex

Member
Nov 10, 2022
10
Don't want to hurt my family. My mom especially. Seems inevitable though.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Ineedtodie
BipolarExpress

BipolarExpress

he/him · tired/exhausted
Nov 11, 2022
231
Friends, my cat, fear of failure, a vague glimmer of hope, my new meds possibly working. I'm just trying to take it a day at a time, though I admit that it's easier to tolerate existence knowing that there's a way to end it if things get too bad.
 
R

Regen

Student
Aug 20, 2020
162
My children. My mother, my dog. And survival instinct. And fear about the prozess of dying.
 
IntelligentLeg

IntelligentLeg

Member
Nov 6, 2022
32
I have to plan my whole day around it. I'm horrible at planning. Trying to choose the perfect day. I'm very indecisive when it comes to choosing the day. Possibly this weekend..
I'm still here. I haven't been on in over a week. I have a pretty good excuse why. Can't figure out a good day...night to do it. I have the SN sitting in my closet.
 
L

Lonlemoon

New Member
Oct 14, 2022
2
My boyfriend, my mother (even though she doesn't help my anxiety and depression), and my best friend.
 
N

nifii

Aaaaaaaaaahhhh
Dec 19, 2021
14
My parents, i don't want to give them a hard time. My mom probably wouldn't be able to deal with it at all.

I also kinda release that i can accept and deal with the issues i have in my life. So that also makes it harder to ctb. I keep failing to actually do something about it tho lmao. I actually really want this shit to be over.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Ineedtodie
HarmedVessel

HarmedVessel

Member
Nov 5, 2022
43
The thought of my parent's reactions haunts me heavily for something that hasn't happened in reality. Otherwise, I suppose my creative projects are the most subjectively meaningful things that are personal to me but it is not uncommon for me to become catatonic and not work on anything for long periods of time.
 
stermc

stermc

just a lost girl
Nov 24, 2022
5
mainly my family, especially my mom and sister. it makes me sick just to think about saying goodbye to them. also the fear of failure and getting some kind of brain damage idk. and the fact that i am not sure about what happens after death
 
DaatiSimi

DaatiSimi

Member
Nov 24, 2022
15
The lack of "N". If I had it right now I would fly back to my country tomorrow to finish business and ctb. bezH.
 
L

LonelyEmerald

Member
Nov 26, 2022
64
I'm young and still have hope. My mother never really talks or spends time with me, but she does love me. I love my dog. Nature, caffeine, working out, reading good fiction, and writing.
Super dumb, but a show I'm watching ends later this week and I want to be around to see the finale.
Seems like a reasonable reason to me. What show?
In a way, yes. My cycles aren't short but they're spread apart. It's always something along the lines of this:

Get lonely > Get Sad > Get Help > Get Friends > Lose Friends > Get lonely.

What caused the latest cycle to end? I moved to college and found my people. My people decided to stop being friends with me and then a person I was talking to decided the same thing as well. I hold no anger towards any of them at all. If they came back today, I would accept them as if nothing happened. It's just that I'm tired of myself feeling this way and being chained to this.
Agreed. I hate being unlikeable and it feels like I'm forever alone besides my dog and my mom.
 
Last edited:
Ineedtodie

Ineedtodie

Shame, Avoidance, hopelessness, lonliness, cbt, pm
Nov 9, 2022
116
The slight possibility that perhaps I can cure my speech impediment and nd eventually open a small coffeshop. These two keeping me alive so far. I chose to stay mildly functional because it turns out hanging myself is not as evident as I expected. It turns out my cowerdness is following me even in the face of merciful death.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: DeathBecomesMe_2021