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Seiba

Seiba

Arcanist
Jun 13, 2021
407
Since it's a magic wand with infinite uses just saying "nothing" lacks imagination. I would wish internal enjoyment when I externally do things, lack of physical pain regardless of what my body has to go through, and housing with wealth. Elimination of physical tiredness and need for sleep to max hedonism. I would still like the ability to sleep since it falling asleep can be a nice break. That aside, easier cooking or at least making any food containing nutrients that the body needs. Food preparing and sleep when you add up work will add up a good portion of the day so most of these wishes will skip out on that. Unhappiness is fine as long as the enjoyment works for hobbies and the like. My schooling was severely neglected with my experience of homeschooling so I'd like to generate understanding of topics and have AP classes done with a valid high school diploma. I would also like to be seventeen or eighteen instead of twenties so I can finish a degree. With the two year program and four years of apprenticeship afterward to be employable at around 32k at the trade job I was looking at is almost suicide inducing on its own. It's 40k after being a senior (ten years into the field) but that's not a lot better considering your body will be ruined long term by trade jobs.

I would honestly settle for less, internal enjoyment with external objects and twenty thousand USD. I guess the latter sounds like a lot when you type the number out, but it's going to cost the state a lot more to deal with my body.
 
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shvm

.
Dec 22, 2021
44
have cancer. I was getting an X-ray in my chest area and the doc had to retake the x-ray 3 times. while I was in the waiting room I was smiling like a kid I was so excited because the doc mentioned that she saw something that's why she retook the x-ray many times. stupid me thought it might be a cancer lump. but I was disappointed quickly after, I'm completely healthy ;(
 
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T

tieiwi

Member
Dec 11, 2021
88
All I want is a loving and healthy family. No family drama. Loving and supporting parents. I think if I had that from the start I would be a better person than I am now.
 
lostautist

lostautist

wandering
Jan 12, 2022
139
To feel useful. Not be rich but to not worry. Or to be established well enough so I can just give. Love would be ok, but I'm jaded and over it.
 
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,376
And I'm not talking about some bullshit "Visualize your dreams, now achieve your dreams!" I mean if you had an omnipotent magic wand with unlimited uses, what would it take for you to never dream about catching the bus again?

I'll start. I would have to start life over. I've made a lot of terrible choices that I can't reverse. I would get away from my terrible parents as soon as I can, I'd avoid a lot of toxic friendships, I wouldn't sacrifice so much for fake people who were laughing at me behind my back, and I would get a better support system much earlier in life. If I could transfer my memories into my four-year old body, I'd work to be happy.

Short of that, I think I'll always be planning my suicide. Sometimes it's just in the back of my head, and sometimes it's the only thought process I can manage.
Indeed. It's like I'm holding out for the impossible but it's hard to end it knowing with only a few hours in the past to make one small change I could have an amazing life
 
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lilac

lilac

100 x 0 = 0
Jun 6, 2021
11
I think for me, there would be nothing. I simply do not want to exist, nothing would ever make me want to live. I think in my case, no matter what my circumstances were I would still feel empty. I have no interest in living. I do not understand how anyone could be happy in a world where there is so much suffering, they must be delusional.
I hold a similar view. I am curious what brought you to this outlook?
 
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Suicide Depression

Suicida depresivo
Sep 14, 2020
14
Y no estoy hablando de tonterías "¡Visualiza tus sueños, ahora alcánzalos!" Quiero decir, si tuvieras una varita mágica omnipotente con usos ilimitados, ¿qué haría falta para que nunca volvieras a soñar con tomar el autobús?

Yo empezare. Tendría que empezar la vida de nuevo. He tomado muchas decisiones terribles que no puedo revertir. Me alejaría de mis terribles padres lo antes posible, evitaría muchas amistades tóxicas, no me sacrificaría tanto por personas falsas que se reían de mí a mis espaldas y obtendría un mejor apoyo. mucho antes en la vida. Si pudiera transferir mis recuerdos a mi cuerpo de cuatro años, trabajaría para ser feliz.

Aparte de eso, creo que siempre estaré planeando mi suicidio. A veces está solo en la parte de atrás de mi cabeza, ya veces es el único proceso de pensamiento que puedo manejar.
What would make me very happy would really be to generate good income by finding a good job and good company I'm really only socially speaking the music is what has helped me not to try ctb in 3 years and also to have started to believe in satanas but now I come back ah be wrong again I hope that everything improves thanks ah he and well I hope not to fall back in trying ctb again although it is possible in the future since I am sick of sadness
 
foxdieΩ

foxdieΩ

Experienced
Sep 16, 2021
275
It's a hard question for me. Different brain chemistry, an unbroken family, the ability to change some crucial decisions and to be financially stable maybe to start. But I don't know if I could ever be happy. I seem to be designed to wallow in my own misery. Maybe I'd just make myself a different person entirely.
 
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LeavingForever

LeavingForever

-
Sep 24, 2020
7,563
I hold a similar view. I am curious what brought you to this outlook?
In my case, I have never wanted to be alive. Even when I was very young, I found death to be comforting. I have always struggled with life and never enjoyed it at all. All I wanted was to escape from this life and when I became older, I became suicidal. I find it impossible to ignore all of the pain and suffering in this world and that brought me to the conclusion that wanting suicide is perfectly rational.
 
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lilac

lilac

100 x 0 = 0
Jun 6, 2021
11
In my case, I have never wanted to be alive. Even when I was very young, I found death to be comforting. I have always struggled with life and never enjoyed it at all. All I wanted was to escape from this life and when I became older, I became suicidal. I find it impossible to ignore all of the pain and suffering in this world and that brought me to the conclusion that wanting suicide is perfectly rational.
That is interesting, I didn't think someone would come to that instinctively. For me, it's like the magic just ended, and my default state from then on was just suffering
 
OnlyTheWind

OnlyTheWind

Serena / Meatball head
Aug 29, 2020
907
I would need to be with the person I love starting 14 years ago, have enough money to never work again, and have a functioning brain that let's me fulfill myself.
 
AverageFanEnjoyer

AverageFanEnjoyer

The Hated One
Sep 26, 2021
1,939
Nothing. Happiness is just an illusion to me.
 
Morbid Cam

Morbid Cam

Member
Oct 28, 2018
51
A different reality, with a completely different set of rules for conciousness; one where it wasn't necessary to kill in order to exist. I'll never be happy here no matter what trivial changes take place in this brief human time. I wouldn't want to be either, that would mean I was cosigning all the fucked shit happening here.
Im with Mashedout on this one. I would have to rewrite reality. I would love to live in a multiverse that has magic as well as erasing boredom, pain, and sadness. And no more having to kill for sustenance.
 
Yungire

Yungire

A lonely satori
Dec 3, 2020
374
Reverse a decision that left me stuck in a place that drained me, have my pets with me, have paid attention in time to help my friend and get her out of that situation that ended up killing her, be able to treat my disorder... Yes, I think that sums it up. Being independent and having a future perspective is what motivated me to cling to life some years ago, I don't want to be a burden anymore.
 
molecularbreakdown

molecularbreakdown

female/something human
Mar 11, 2021
22
A magical, everlasting supply of anything I want and a private island or even planet. I hate humans. I hate how closed minded and assuming every single one is. However, I love the weirdness that is life itself. Ordered chaos. Ever fascinating. I don't know why humans must declare themselves authority over it.
 
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SuicidallyCurious

Elementalist
Dec 20, 2020
894
Seeing civilization take positive changes instead of regressing.

Of course human life is never perfect but as the idiocracy timeline accelerates it’s hard to think or care about what one does in this life
 
Oblivion

Oblivion

Specialist
Aug 2, 2018
379
20 to 50 million dollars.
travelling the world and doing things day and night, going to magical scenery locations, dining at the finest fine dining restaurants and trying the street food of all countries, dating few of my fav. porn stars and hooking up with gorgeous high class escorts, owning multiple huge mansions with super cars and a huge pool with 24 hour staff that are ready to fire up the BBQ whenever i want, going to cruise in my Lamborghini on the Spanish eastern coast, driving in it to Switzerland's beautiful mountains, jumping on my private jet down to Thailand then off to the Andes mountains in Chile.

it burns my bones that i can never do even 1 of these things, i spent more than 20,000$ that i made when i used to work on lottery tickets (mainly euro millions) and i never won, i know its impossible to win it but so are my dreams. just need to die.
 
A

allesistgut

Member
Jan 22, 2022
7
i find it hard because i have moments when i am happy, though it’s generally only when i’m with a few select people. but even experiencing joy and love when i’m with them doesn’t really change my mind of how i eventually want to end things.

and this probably sounds weird, but i’m not sure if i would go back and change anything? like obviously part of me doesn’t like my thoughts and i wish i could just have a happy life where i didn’t even think about ctb, but even though things are the way they are for me now i don’t want to have not experienced certain things? idk.
 
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S

sopwithcamel

Member
Mar 30, 2021
8
I just want to have a meaningful life. Yes, that’s vague I guess… but I wish I had some sort of recognition like some of my favorite musicians whose work has impacted plenty of people profoundly. Their art is like a gift to the world. I also want friends, enough money and feel like I truly belong somewhere. That’s about it
 
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Kristicide

Kristicide

I am a prisoner locked up behind xanax bars
Dec 16, 2021
53
Have a job again that pays really well. Move tf out of my country and live in Europe (preferably Belgium 🇧🇪 or Netherlands 🇳🇱). Since my shitty parents are too cheap to fly and think any country other than our own is garbage I'd be guaranteed to never see them again. Pure bliss.
 
Wrennie

Wrennie

Latent Corpse 💀
Dec 18, 2019
1,339
To be healthy. To look and feel the way I did back in 2017. I’d trade anything to return to those days. But now it’s forever out of reach, eternally out of my grasp…
 
GoingMyOwnWay

GoingMyOwnWay

Member
Jan 23, 2021
68
If I could wish for just one thing, it would be the ability to travel somewhere different in the world to where I am now and begin a new life under a new identity. Happiness might come eventually from that, but it's not my main objective.

Everything in my life attached to my current identity and where I am situated in the world is a clusterfuck.
 
V

visiblyinvisible

New Member
Jan 22, 2022
1
Believe it or not, as dumb as it sounds, I think I would manage to go through all this shit if this girl were still my girlfriend. But she found out she's a lesbian, so I've got no chances there. But happy is a VERY strong word. There's nothing in this world that would make me happy. Just happy enough.
 
laika

laika

New Member
Jan 5, 2022
3
I don’t think it will ever be ok.. but in the time before I ctb, I just really want someone to be with and talk to.. inexecutable desire.