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chloramine

Student
Apr 18, 2022
131
My therapist recently asked me to consider what I would do and what things might be like if I didn’t hate myself and I’m curious to see what other people think within their own experiences.

Personally I don’t know how much would change. I don’t do or avoid doing things strictly because I hate myself, but it does add an extra layer of motivation or lack of it. Like, it can be hard for me to eat because depression and it just takes so much effort, but there is a certain satisfaction in the pain that causes because I hate myself. Part of me also wonders if I would be more likely to die if I could do it as an act of self compassion instead of it just being a collapse of “I can’t do this anymore and it will ultimately benefit the people around me”. It’s just really hard for me to conceptualize not hating myself and it’s been so long that I don’t know.
 
summers

summers

Visionary
Nov 4, 2020
2,293
My therapist recently asked me to consider what I would do and what things might be like if I didn’t hate myself and I’m curious to see what other people think within their own experiences.

Personally I don’t know how much would change. I don’t do or avoid doing things strictly because I hate myself, but it does add an extra layer of motivation or lack of it. Like, it can be hard for me to eat because depression and it just takes so much effort, but there is a certain satisfaction in the pain that causes because I hate myself. Part of me also wonders if I would be more likely to die if I could do it as an act of self compassion instead of it just being a collapse of “I can’t do this anymore and it will ultimately benefit the people around me”. It’s just really hard for me to conceptualize not hating myself and it’s been so long that I don’t know.
I don't think much would change either. I still would be motivated to do pretty much what I do now.
 
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abyss

abyss

Member
Jul 13, 2022
54
I honestly can't imagine it, I've always been this way. Feels like the game was rigged from the start.
I suppose I would be much better able to self-actualise and actually do things I want to do instead of restricting myself and cutting myself off from everyone. But who knows.
 
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chloramine

Student
Apr 18, 2022
131
I don't think much would change either. I still would be motivated to do pretty much what I do now.
I can see small changes, but not a lot of large scale stuff yeah.
I honestly can't imagine it, I've always been this way. Feels like the game was rigged from the start.
I suppose I would be much better able to self-actualise and actually do things I want to do instead of restricting myself and cutting myself off from everyone. But who knows.
We can’t really say for sure without experiencing it. I can see how it would be beneficial, but not how it would actually work.
 
WhatPowerIs

WhatPowerIs

Experienced
Jun 19, 2022
233
I would probably feel a lot better about life. I wouldn't even be on this forum.
 
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WhatPowerIs

WhatPowerIs

Experienced
Jun 19, 2022
233
If I come across any strategies to help with it I’ll share them here. I know it’s hard and there aren’t really any set ways to help it.
Hey, that's all we can ask for on the recovery board. I am praying and wishing for everybody's success here. But yeah, it is hard. :/
 
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