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Kattt

Kattt

Student
Joined
May 18, 2021
Messages
112
I didn't go for a smear /pap test for 20 years because i'm scared and i don't give a shit.
Now my daughter is having terrible problems and looks like it's a hysterectomy for her....karma
 
L

Life sucks

Enlightened
Joined
Apr 18, 2018
Messages
1,820
Brave_heart said:
Feeling all alone in a house full of people..

I love my alone time, too. What makes humans so terrible for you?

Interactions with humans always makes problems, too much toxicity and aggressiveness. Also misunderstanding and a lot of other things. Simply, being with humans usually is annoying and I can't have my inner peace with them.
Additionally, many interactions or being with the wrong people worsens anhedonia and many mental problems.
 
zzz

zzz

promortalist
Joined
Jun 17, 2021
Messages
8
My long distance bf and I broke up yesterday because I could tell it wasn't going to work. It's depressing but I feel like I've got more addictions to break soon: sitting on discord all day for interaction/validation, playing mind-numbing games, alcohol etc. Eventually I hope to kick the breathing habit too.

sentience is such a chore
 
B

Burned out

Member
Joined
Sep 22, 2018
Messages
52
Never having normal sleep my whole life. Thinking about how I don't even have a clue what being normal or healthy is like because I have never fully gotten what sleep is supposed to do for the body--keep it functioning optimally.

Also the realization that some of us spend our whole lives in a constant struggle to either not suffer, or suffer as little as we can, and can do nothing else, while other people get to do actual things. It is like our lives remain factory sealed and never opened/used, or owning a movie, but it never got started.
 
Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Desire=half of life. Indifference=half of death.
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
4,840
That I like people and sometimes have to stop talking to them for some reason or another.
 
littlelungs

littlelungs

Experienced
Joined
Oct 21, 2018
Messages
209
I'm in this weird headspace at the moment where I'm questioning the validity of my trauma. Sometimes I feel like I don't have the "right" to be as messed up as I am over what I went through, even though what happened to me over a span of literal years was objectively fucked up.

I can't sleep because of it.
 
F

FinalDestination

Here lies my hopes and dreams
Joined
Mar 10, 2020
Messages
127
Having no money at all and feeling pathetic about that. The fact I’ll never experience love ig or just a deep connection with someone. The fact I’m still here when truly there is nothing for me here
 
C

Curious89

Fleeting glimpse of existence
Joined
Oct 11, 2019
Messages
404
I'm unhappy at being born and then having to survive because my biological urges resist pain so I can't CTB.

Yet at the same time, objectively speaking, my life and future is so sh*t that I should be considering doing it somehow yet I can't bring myself to do it.

I guess I'm a person who subconsciously wants to stay alive, but has to do so facing my own above average limitations and subsequent consequences every day.

It's really painful and disorienting and feels meaningless on a deep level.

Considering that life keeps on getting tougher as I grow older, I'm not sure what the point of any of this is.

It's like nature somehow ended up selecting the sperm and egg that would lead to my conception and now insists that I survive life, no matter how bleak, till the end. Because I cannot summon the willpower to CTB.

It's a prospect that is very disheartening for me.
 
Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Desire=half of life. Indifference=half of death.
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
4,840
Nothing. I've been through a month of on and off anxiety and panic but right now, today, I feel good physically and mentally. I've gotten my mind off of the things stressing me out.
 
disillusionment

disillusionment

Member
Joined
Oct 22, 2020
Messages
40
Realizing that both my parents are sociopaths and thinking about the past, how trauma and neglect from my parents has affected me my whole life and led me to this miserable moment now. Thinking about all the things I should have done or could have done differently.

Feeling utterly alone.

Living in a town I hate, with noisy neighbours I hate. They gang up outside my window and chat loudly for hours, even sitting in camping chairs right outside my window being noisy as hell. For two weeks they camped outside my window every single day all day. All I want is some peace and quiet to read my damn book. And no ear plugs do not work and there is not a single quiet place I can go to. Even when I'm watching TV I can hear them over it even at max volume and it pisses me off. Let me enjoy the few things I have left to enjoy.

The air coming in from the air conditioner smells straight up like poop b/c this town always smells like poop. So now my bedroom can either be too hot or smell like poop.
 
Fehler

Fehler

...
Joined
Oct 12, 2020
Messages
439
I was already aware that my friends overshadowed me and went out many times without saying anything but I'm tired of it. It has been many years since I found out from third parties that they left.
Yesterday I was a bit more down and at night I was talking to one of them; he was waiting for someone else to join the discord and we talked in the meantime. I asked him if the one who was going to join worked and he said no, he had the day off. When he joined I asked him how his day was and he said that they went to a swamp ... It seemed strange to me that the other did not tell me anything about it when I asked him how his day was but he just got nervous and you could see how he wanted to change of theme.

It saddens me as they only tell me for the 2 or 3 barbecues that we do a year because they know that I like to prepare the grill. If I did not know or offered to do it, they would surely not tell me anything.

Anyway, if it is not that I can talk about personal things with them, they are more "video game partners" than anything else, although we haven't played anything together for months so I don't know what relationship I have with them.
 
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