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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Desire=half of life. Indifference=half of death.
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
4,840
I can't tell if the anxiety I've had recently for a month or two was the cause of my dread of living, or if the problems I'm facing are the cause of the anxiety. I've started taking a lot of various supplements and since starting on the B12 I've felt a lot calmer and more clear headed. It was a dramatic difference. It's as if the problems are still there, but I'm no longer anxious and panicking.
 
logan

logan

Arcanist
Joined
May 20, 2021
Messages
471
What definitely helps:
- Vitamin B complex
- Magnesium
- Omega 3
- Vitamin D

this helps more than many medicines and has no side effects.
 
newave3

newave3

Don’t wake me
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
1,107
What's bothering me you ask? Well I'm here to tell you. The outrageous heat and humidity here in NYC. I have 3 air conditioners in my apartment,but I can't keep running them all the time because the electric bill would be sky high. So I use box fans most of the time which just blows hot air on me.
I'm 61 and you think I would be used to the shitty summers here, but I'm not. I can't imagine how people who live in Florida, Georgia or Louisiana tolerate the heat. I could never live in a southern state. If I had the money I would move to Alaska.
 
Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Desire=half of life. Indifference=half of death.
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
4,840
newave3 said:
What's bothering me you ask? Well I'm here to tell you. The outrageous heat and humidity here in NYC. I have 3 air conditioners in my apartment,but I can't keep running them all the time because the electric bill would be sky high. So I use box fans most of the time which just blows hot air on me.
I'm 61 and you think I would be used to the shitty summers here, but I'm not. I can't imagine how people who live in Florida, Georgia or Louisiana tolerate the heat. I could never live in a southern state. If I had the money I would move to Alaska.
Central air conditioning and never going out in July and August. The air cond. quit working one day recently and I felt dizzy and almost ready to lose consciousness from the heat.
 
western_heart

western_heart

Advanced darkness
Joined
May 23, 2021
Messages
181
I feel like I'm fading away again. I'm no longer talking to friends, and avoiding my family. My SO's grandfather just died and I can barely support her.

I hope I have it in me to make myself lunch.
 
L

Life sucks

Enlightened
Joined
Apr 18, 2018
Messages
1,820
Experiencing things and playing games alone is way better. Other people and fandoms makes everything worse. So even if there are some interesting things one wants to do, humans just ruin it and the make the experience worse.
 
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Cast_Away

Cast_Away

Member
Joined
Jun 20, 2021
Messages
22
feels like i'm being followed/someone's always watching me, though i'm probably just being paranoid. my ankle keeps hurting and it doesn't seem to get any better. scared shitless of any dogs i see outside because of recent accident when i heard(not even seen just heard) a kid almost got torn by a dog. i'll never forget his screams, damn..
 
Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Desire=half of life. Indifference=half of death.
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
4,840
I want to move to a state that allows assisted suicide but have no idea how I can possibly do it. There are too many roadblocks.
 
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Celerity

Celerity

Enlightened
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
1,452
Meditation guide said:
I want to move to a state that allows assisted suicide but have no idea how I can possibly do it. There are too many roadblocks.
I don’t think any here in the US allow assisted suicide for mental illness. Do you have a terminal illness that will kill you within 6 months?
 
Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Desire=half of life. Indifference=half of death.
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
4,840
Celerity said:
I don’t think any here in the US allow assisted suicide for mental illness. Do you have a terminal illness that will kill you within 6 months?
No but I want to have the option if I ever need it.
 
Celerity

Celerity

Enlightened
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
1,452
Meditation guide said:
No but I want to have the option if I ever need it.
Oregon. I heard NY is working on a law. Canada has a pretty generous one from what I’ve heard.
 
that_guy2611

that_guy2611

Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2018
Messages
90
Honestly I just feel bad because I'm lonely as hell but can't socialize and also horny as fuck
 
Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Desire=half of life. Indifference=half of death.
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
4,840
My friend said to me every boyfriend I've had has gone crazy. The implication is that somehow I drove them crazy. Is that even possible? Someone can literally make someone else go crazy? I realized he's right, they did all go crazy after a while.
 
Celerity

Celerity

Enlightened
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
1,452
Meditation guide said:
My friend said to me every boyfriend I've had has gone crazy. The implication is that somehow I drove them crazy. Is that even possible? Someone can literally make someone else go crazy? I realized he's right, they did all go crazy after a while.
Maybe it’s who you’re attracted to. If your friend was trying to imply that you drove them crazy, it’s a shitty thing to do to a friend. That said, no one can stand me. No one will give me a chance. If they did, I’d probably have similar results.
 
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J

Journeytoletgo

Mage
Joined
May 14, 2018
Messages
519
I just don’t have anyone to look to and to turn to about my self.
I just feel so lost, disconnected, rejected, isolated, bored. I cannot do this anymore for another year for debt obligations. I can only do one more month until the end of august. I am in so much pain, misery, I cannot connect and socialize for years. Why do I have to be contained in this misery, I’m stressed. I’m unattractive, I’m traumatized because of something out of my control acne, and verbally hurt by others. I feel so awful I’m going to ruin my parents and younger siblings I hope they learn it wasn’t their fault that I cannot tolerate this emotonal
Pain. I have knowone to turn to. It’s just so lonely and painful not having anyone to talk to about these things. All these regrets and pains rushing back. I just want to be done. I hope these last few weeks come on. 5 more weeks. I cannot tolerate this anymore, any opportunity I had to make Néw friends I ruin it.
 
Celerity

Celerity

Enlightened
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
1,452
Journeytoletgo said:
I just don’t have anyone to look to and to turn to about my self.
I just feel so lost, disconnected, rejected, isolated, bored. I cannot do this anymore for another year for debt obligations. I can only do one more month until the end of august. I am in so much pain, misery, I cannot connect and socialize for years. Why do I have to be contained in this misery, I’m stressed. I’m unattractive, I’m traumatized because of something out of my control acne, and verbally hurt by others. I feel so awful I’m going to ruin my parents and younger siblings I hope they learn it wasn’t their fault that I cannot tolerate this emotonal
Pain. I have knowone to turn to. It’s just so lonely and painful not having anyone to talk to about these things. All these regrets and pains rushing back. I just want to be done. I hope these last few weeks come on. 5 more weeks. I cannot tolerate this anymore, any opportunity I had to make Néw friends I ruin it.
I’m in the same boat. The only thing I have anymore is anger. I wish I were some big, burly dude who could work a job like truck driving alone. All I can do is push aside my desire for company. Videogames are a decent distraction. Booze is an inconsistent lover. Sometimes it numbs the pain. Sometimes it just makes me cry.
 
J

Journeytoletgo

Mage
Joined
May 14, 2018
Messages
519
Celerity said:
I’m in the same boat. The only thing I have anymore is anger. I wish I were some big, burly dude who could work a job like truck driving alone. All I can do is push aside my desire for company. Videogames are a decent distraction. Booze is an inconsistent lover. Sometimes it numbs the pain. Sometimes it just makes me cry.
I’m sorry you’re experiencing that. Yeah it’s so painful seeing how others are so sociable and can interact. I may have to get a ps4 as a mild distraction after work just for the temporary. I can’t cope with this much longer years of isolation begin to do things to you.
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Desire=half of life. Indifference=half of death.
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
4,840
I hate it when I hear the phrase "give me a chance". What does that even mean? I am not interviewing job applicants and putting them on probationary status to see what they can do. Someone said that to me after taking me out to dinner and was trying to get me to go to his place afterwards. I refused. I didn't want to see him again. The chance I gave him was the dinner.
 
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Celerity

Celerity

Enlightened
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
1,452
Journeytoletgo said:
I’m sorry you’re experiencing that. Yeah it’s so painful seeing how others are so sociable and can interact. I may have to get a ps4 as a mild distraction after work just for the temporary. I can’t cope with this much longer years of isolation begin to do things to you.
Yeah, I don’t know how much longer I can do this either. I keep hoping against hope that I don’t wake up. I’m an atheist but on the very slim chance there is a merciful god, I pray almost daily to die a quick death. But who am I kidding? You look around and it takes no time at all to see suffering much worse than ours. What always sticks out in my mind is a video I saw of a worm eating a starving child’s eyes while the child was still alive. I remember it wriggling in the sunlight. What kind of god could any of us hope to count on? If He exists, he’s not merciful.
 
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J

Journeytoletgo

Mage
Joined
May 14, 2018
Messages
519
Celerity said:
Yeah, I don’t know how much longer I can do this either. I keep hoping against hope that I don’t wake up. I’m an atheist but on the very slim chance there is a merciful god, I pray almost daily to die a quick death. But who am I kidding? You look around and it takes no time at all to see suffering much worse than ours. What always sticks out in my mind is a video I saw of a worm eating a starving child’s eyes while the child was still alive. I remember it wriggling in the sunlight. What kind of god could any of us hope to count on? If He exists, he’s not merciful.
Same here, personal reasons aside now that I know there is no turning back. Yeah that’s pretty scary, if there is a god or gods I guarantee it wouldn’t care what happens on this planet.
 
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Toonloon

Toonloon

Student
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
114
A trick fucking with me right now so that's my issue right now. N than the never ending feeling of loneliness and being unwanted.
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Desire=half of life. Indifference=half of death.
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
4,840
Depressing people who have a way of phrasing everything in the most miserable way possible. I know depressives who are funny all the time.
 
Celerity

Celerity

Enlightened
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
1,452
Meditation guide said:
Depressing people who have a way of phrasing everything in the most miserable way possible. I know depressives who are funny all the time.
Well, this feels like an attack. I hate forced positivity much more.
 
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