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Quinlor

Quinlor

The stranger
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
924
I don't have any reason, I just don't get escape from my self...
 
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samsaragothands

samsaragothands

Member
Joined
Jul 18, 2021
Messages
14
my family just went through a stressful relocation and i want to give them time to settle down and make friends and ultimately develop a real support system before i do something that will affect them forever. i want to make sure they're in a comfortable enough place to where something traumatic won't completely tear them apart; truthfully, some days i think i'm being incredibly naive, but i don't really know what else i can be doing.

and it's tricky-- i'm often terrified that by being too encouraging or available for them now, i'm going to make it harder for them when i pass. but i also wouldn't be able to pass without knowing they were going to be okay, or without at least opening an avenue to cope with their loss in a healthy way.

ultimately, i'm still alive for them. i want my last days with them to be meaningful. i also want to finish season 2 of gossip girl
 
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T

TheUnkn0wn

Member
Joined
Jul 2, 2021
Messages
32
Honestly I don’t have much keeping me alive right now. The majority of my family passed away, most of my friends stepped away once my mental health turned for the worst, and I’m not fighting to keep my job.

Only thing keeping me a live per say is that all my previous suicide attempts failed. I should’ve passed on my most recent attempt, but got extremely “lucky” and survived. I’d CTB in a heartbeat if I had N
 
Callie Arcale

Callie Arcale

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun
Joined
Feb 10, 2021
Messages
315
Survival instinct, I guess. Or maybe what I call survival instinct is actually an overwhelming fear. Because that is what I felt when I did my first (and only) attempt. Fear. Immense fear.

But I’m all right now… I no longer lament my lack of courage.

I know death will come find me, sooner or later. It’s the only certainty I have in life. I just have to sit here quietly and endure the pain until that old joker knocks at my door.
 
narval

narval

Specialist
Joined
Jan 22, 2020
Messages
311
Fear of death in one hand, chance (only chance) to get work in august/september in the other

ATM that's only a temporary truce between myy death thoughts and me. Let's see what happens. I'm scared :(
 
Luchs

Luchs

kristallene Bergluft über verfallener Gruft
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
412
I guess that I am still living out of spite. It feels like this world was designed to make me crumble, so I fight on to achieve my dreams, in the first place BECAUSE the world is seemingly trying to fuck me over. I can relate to OP in the sense that I want to have kids to pass my stuff, heritage and family legacy onto.
 
lofticries

lofticries

obedear
Joined
Feb 27, 2021
Messages
832
Parents because of ones mental well being and the others rep in front of family.

Also finally gaining some independence and maybe self acceptance. Those have always been the two things I've desired for the longest. If I can gain that even for a little while then I can truly die happy.
 
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tabletop

Member
Joined
Oct 8, 2019
Messages
24
Even though I hate the question. I do love this thread.

I don't like this question cause mental health professionals stress that you do answer this question. Ant the more I think about it I realize I don't truly have a reason to live. Like the question I feel encourages me to think more about suicide when the more I think about I don't truly have a reason.

But still here cause mostly survival instinct, fear maybe, cause they tell me I'm not supposed to kill myself, and maybe cause I'm starting to change my focus to just plain looking forward to a natural death instead. I mean I'm halfway through life. And that's the long half I think. I mean as ya get older time goes quicker. So I'm kinda more than half through. At least the last half won't seem as long as the first.

I don't know. Frankly I just don't know how to answer this question honestly.
 
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lugerepair

PMDD
Joined
Oct 15, 2020
Messages
126
Things keeping me alive:

Suicide is hard, logistically speaking and also psychologically speaking
My family and friends would be sad
I'm kinda curious to see what crazy shit will happen next in this fucked up world
Things might conceivably get better for me
I have some limited usefulness to people in my community
I'm not that depressed, most of the time. I mean, I think that life is objectively shitty and it would have been preferable for me to never have been born, but I don't experience enough pain consistently enough to go through with suicide...at least right now. That might change. In fact it's highly likely that it will. I do intend to leave this world on my own terms if at all possible.
 
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whywere

Enlightened
Joined
Jun 26, 2020
Messages
1,200
I have a long list of places on Earth that I want to visit and because of covid, everything has ground to a halt. Walter
 
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