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Z

ZeitZuGehen

Member
Oct 29, 2018
19
I've opened up to a few strangers on the internet, but every person I know in rl thinks Im mentally completely stable. I guess it has to do with the fear that they might treat you differently or tell others if they knew. But after all my plan is set, and even if other people may give emotional warmth, most will inevitably try to dissuade you.

I guess that's it about me, but what about you?
 
D

Donewith_

Elementalist
Sep 28, 2018
877
None knows. Yeah, once someone get to know about a thing like this , they will freak out. Since a lot number of people out there are pro-life(I feel so), they think the best they could do is to save us from ctb. And that is the last thing anyone here want.

Edit:thing*
 
IwasElla

IwasElla

-
Sep 27, 2018
130
My best friend knows and supports me, although it's hard for her (yep, I'm a selfish and horrible person).

I told her because I am afraid that I'll lose my mind if I keep it to myself, and I also need her to help my family after I leave. I hope that after I CTB she'll write a few words on SS whether N. has worked for me and how peaceful it was.

She is completely pro-choice, but I’m afraid that when I set a date, I’ll have to distance myself from her, so that her emotional desire not to lose her friend won't overсome the rational understanding that this is the best choice for me.
 
T

Throwaway563078

Experienced
Oct 6, 2018
273
My best friend knows and supports me, although it's hard for her (yep, I'm a selfish and horrible person).

I told her because I am afraid that I'll lose my mind if I keep it to myself, and I also need her to help my family after I leave. I hope that after I CTB she'll write a few words on SS whether N. has worked for me and how peaceful it was.

She is completely pro-choice, but I’m afraid that when I set a date, I’ll have to distance myself from her, so that her emotional desire not to lose her friend won't overсome the rational understanding that this is the best choice for me.

What a great friend you have. All the best :)
 
fuckthis

fuckthis

I've made up my mind.
Sep 23, 2018
264
A girl from California who ended up betraying me, I live in the UK and she was able to find my mom's work place and phone in. My mom picked up. Now I find it very hard to kill myself. I'd be dead by now but oh well. I don't speak to her anymore and she ignores me anyways. Some friend. Now I have no one. Or the people on here. I haven't had someone in my life for months, the ones that were I didn't really tell them anything.
 
littlelungs

littlelungs

Arcanist
Oct 21, 2018
492
Aside from the people on here, nobody knows about my plans. That's a recipe for disaster, full of guilt trips and yet another stay in the psych ward. Fuck that.
 
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Tomo

Tomo

Member
Oct 31, 2018
15
I have a bad habit of writing letters anticipating my death, but I can't go through with it without some bit of hesitation or thinking of what I enjoy about this life. I get too attached to the comforts of this world and end up leaving the letters around. One time I was out of the house and my mom found some of these letters and confronted me about this. I thought this would be the first step to opening up but it didn't really go anywhere. I could live with some people online knowing I'm suicidal, but it's a different experience when people close to you in real life find out. The guilt is immeasurable but there's nothing I can do to change how I feel.
 
Tragoedia Vitae

Tragoedia Vitae

Experienced
Oct 14, 2018
224
Nobody IRL knows anything about my intentions. And if I told them, they would either take it too seriously or find some way to trivialize it to make things easier on themselves. It would never occur to them to say what I need them to say: "What can we do to help before you go? Just let us know, and we'll support you in life and death alike. None of this will be easy, but we'll walk by your side as far as you want us to."

My life would be 1000x better if someone actually said this to me and truly meant it.