friendofbirds

friendofbirds

Member
Jun 6, 2022
50
we are a social species in the most literal sense of the word. human beings only succeeded because of cooperation, essentially. even neanderthals took care of eachother in old age and in disability. you are being social right now by posting about this on a public forum that other people can read and respond to.

it is hard to see objectively, but it is a good thing that people are checking in on you. that means you have some kind of support system who care about you, no matter what you object to. some people ctb because no one cares about them enough to check.

for the record, i am genuinely not trying to shame or condescend to you. i am simply trying to offer another perspective. i hope you find some peace whatever you decide.
 
unredeemable

unredeemable

To be, or not to be - that is the question.
Jun 7, 2022
55
It's like we're laying down a challenge for them to try and get through to us. Uh, no. Leave me TF alone is really what I meant.

And for fucks sake don't take it personally, either. You, the pope or the man in the moon. I want to hear from no one, but I may as well be speaking gibberish.
 
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chocolatebar

chocolatebar

Wizard
Jul 11, 2021
691
In my experience, it's worse to say nothing or state that we want to be left alone, because people may come even closer or refuse to go. A simple evasive and gentle reply works nice in these cases.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

She dreams of eternal sleep
Sep 24, 2020
12,421
People can be very frustrating and the way that I see it, they simply do not understand how you feel. They think that what they are doing is for the best. I think that many people who enjoy spending time around others cannot possibly understand how anyone would choose to spend their life alone.
 
Still Flutter Girl

Still Flutter Girl

An alphabet soup of pain, pain, and more pain
Jun 13, 2022
13
I think some see it as a challenge, and some are openly trying to gaslight others.

The same that harass people that say they want to be left alone would also leave those people alone if they said they needed help and attention (at least, that’s been my experience).
 
SleepyBB

SleepyBB

My Own Reaper
May 15, 2022
18
I've been checking on my dad since he became really reclusive because I love him and I would feel awful if i didn't reach out and he took his own life. Though I wish he shared the same view about me
 
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2

24601

I can't do this anymore
Apr 9, 2022
35
we are a social species in the most literal sense of the word. human beings only succeeded because of cooperation, essentially. even neanderthals took care of eachother in old age and in disability. you are being social right now by posting about this on a public forum that other people can read and respond to.

it is hard to see objectively, but it is a good thing that people are checking in on you. that means you have some kind of support system who care about you, no matter what you object to. some people ctb because no one cares about them enough to check.

for the record, i am genuinely not trying to shame or condescend to you. i am simply trying to offer another perspective. i hope you find some peace whatever you decide.
A very refreshing perspective. Although my story differs I really like your point of view. Thank you.
 
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Rd2nowhere

Rd2nowhere

Silly Tulip is a color.
Jun 16, 2022
57
I live a reclusive lifestyle. I am agoraphobic. I am terrified to leave my house. I am unable to retrieve my mail during the day. The mailbox is one foot from my door. Recently, a friend has been gathering my mail and bringing it into the house.

I wasn’t like this several years ago. I use to host gatherings and go on outings. It was covid that pushed a button in my brain to become this way. Or better said triggered something in my head.

Being alone is very difficult. I have people who check in with me. They understand my struggle and stress. They tend to send notes, texts, and the occasional phone call. I appreciate them as I miss my old self and contemplate living.

Reclusive living is not a blessing. As mentioned above humans are social beings. We need interaction and stimulation from others. I feel my brain turning against me.

However if this is a choice for you to become a recluse. There are many resources that will aid the lifestyle. I do suggest being subtle and gentle to those who want to continue to be in your life. Eventually they disappear and go about their own lives.
 
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
177
Do you think they know how low you feel and are worried about you? Not sure if their motivation is from a place of care, fear that you might do something and they will feel guilty if they haven't tried to reach out, or just plain nosiness.

Not sure. I guess it's kind of nice they give enough of a shit to try and keep in touch with you.

Although, being pretty much a recluse myself, I can understand how much it must impose on your privacy and irritate you. Would it be better or worse if no-one bothered you again?
 
A

Anonymous1997ES

Member
Jul 30, 2021
69
Well... I think it's a paradox of sorts but, thinking the best possibility, that means some of those people might truly care about you, and are checking out from time to time to let you know you're loved or at least liked by them. As a bit of advice (I don't mean to manipulate you, I swear upon my life), tell them you feel bad, but you'll always think of them, and as soon as you get better you will talk once more to them for long periods. If you don't... There's a chance those messages will slowly decrease, until they won't talk to you anymore... Speaking from personal experiences, don't fully isolate yourself until it's too late, as sometimes... Almost no one will wait forever for another person, and eventually they'll move on. Don't wait until that point, because that's when regret kicks in u_u
 
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M

Medium Trainee

Unhappy people are unhappy in their own ways.
Jun 3, 2022
38
I think the meaning of being social has changed. In the past being social was like knowing 10 people very well in a small village, and able to handle all the moral calculation by heart. Today to go out do something simple one probably has to interact with a dozen of not very close people and pass by many more strangers.

The typical people in the past are now called introverts. They are actually very social with people they know well, but find being surrounded by strangers exhausting.