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Diablox

Member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
15
i suffer from severe brain damage due medical failure. Only 26 years old. My life went from the happiest person alive to the biggest hell on earth. Will ctb this year for sure. Trying to enjoy the last things on this earth for a couple months. It’s not much, but i will try.
 
WinterFaust

WinterFaust

Shimmer
Joined
Apr 13, 2020
Messages
412
My recent hearing loss. No friends, significant other, or job and I'm already 26. Low functioning in my depression so I'm basically a failure. Debt from manic behavior. But right now the hearing loss gets to me the most. That and the loneliness.
 
Isittimetogonola

Isittimetogonola

Kindness is a weakness to be taken advantage by al
Joined
Oct 22, 2019
Messages
199
I am tired of all the racing thoughts that meds cant control. I am tired of being the drama one. I have already pushed away 3/4 that I called family. Unfortunately, the only one left will be by my side and it it hurting her that somewhat keeps me here. Even my wife does not deserve my crap.
 
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Darksektori

Experienced
Joined
Jun 8, 2020
Messages
234
Oh fuck really? Goddamnit !
Ok um
#1 the whole being alive thing?.....yeah it sucks ass.
#2. To depart a failed world that does a pathetic job pretending like it gives a shit.
#3 I hate being able to taste colors
#4 The drugs wore off
#5. I'm not stupid enough to wanna live
#6. You sort of need a reason NOT to kill yourself,
can't think of one unfortunately
7. Worried that If I keep thinking thinking up stupid funny ways to CTB that I may actually try one
8. Reality is ...just unbearable
9. Humanity is screwed 12 ways from Sunday
10. All of the above
 
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ForensicallyAware

ForensicallyAware

Specialist
Joined
Feb 10, 2020
Messages
314
I do not fit into society
I do not even fit into outsider cults
I am hyper sensitive and see life as an immense tragedy and the coldness and ruthlessness of people crushes me
I do not understand people, cannot form relationships and no longer see friends
I constantly compare myself unfavorably to others
I look like I've been dragged through hell
 
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f'dmylife

f'dmylife

Member
Joined
Jun 3, 2020
Messages
12
Because I want the life and opportunities i could have had back and I can't as time doesn't work like that. I've wrecked my body, mind and character. I can't look anyone in the eyes, can't even look at myself in the mirror. I'm a nervous, anxious, paranoid, little dick wreck. And i'm retarded.
 
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Saddaisy

-
Joined
May 16, 2020
Messages
149
1. My chronic insomnia
2. My chronic disease that will eventually (probably 10-20 years) make me a helpless cripple
3. My job now sucks (was my dream job until corporate told me my goals mean nothing and all they care about is money)
4. My life partner cheated on me
5. Never really cared for this world much
 
imsorrybear

imsorrybear

-
Joined
Apr 3, 2020
Messages
22
honestly i dont know anymore. im just tired.

i fucked up my body with 3 years of an on-off eating disorder (anorexia, b/p). the thoughts never go. i have terrible body image and thought i looked fat even when i was bmi 13 and 15. currently 17.8 and i feel obese. im tired of this and i cant get better.

my studies have kind of gone to the wasteland despite how much effort i put in. i suck at socializing, i find myself dissociating and crying out of nowhere and i dont know why.

my loved ones may grieve, but ultimately, once they get over my death their quality of life will be much better as compared to if i were around. im a huge financial and emotional burden lol.
 
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CTB-London

Student
Joined
Feb 26, 2019
Messages
158
My reason is that being gay is totally awful for me and prevents me from living a happy or fulfilling life
 
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Hydration

Hydration

science
Joined
May 29, 2020
Messages
26
I feel empty inside. I have a family, 3 cats, and a girlfriend that I love. But none of it makes me happy. None of what I have makes me feel complete. I should realize how lucky I am to have all of these things, I should have nothing to complain about. But there is a hole within me that I do not know how to fill. It just hurts to live.
 
StuckAF

StuckAF

Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2020
Messages
93
CTB-London said:
My reason is that being gay is totally awful for me and prevents me from living a happy or fulfilling life
Same!!!!!! I don’t see any hope for me at all!!
 
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Quarky00

Quarky00

Enlightened
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
1,967
I'm in a homeless shelter that costs $500 a month (out of my disability allowance) , my roommate is literally a maniac (here under court order) , and the manager abuses us -- while I have serious GI issues and injuries (accident) . I can barely walk . I did not eat today . Can't get my meds . At this point depression and anxiety (checked) are the least of my problems ... So , fuck life .

( no help needed thanx <3 )
 
Aliali1992

Aliali1992

We only live once..i hope
Joined
Jan 3, 2020
Messages
154
Avoidant personality disorder...i've managed somehow to experience child sexual abuse, domestic violence and a civil war in one life time...that shit won't pass by without scars.
 
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Fedrea

Specialist
Joined
May 14, 2020
Messages
327
KiraLittleOwl said:
Botched plastic surgery. Basically the same reason as yours.
Can’t you get that fixed?

Society’s pressure on looks is bullshit. Women get preyed on cos of looks
 
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K

KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Joined
Jan 25, 2019
Messages
990
Fedrea said:
Can’t you get that fixed?

Society’s pressure on looks is bullshit. Women get preyed on cos of looks
In theory yes, but no guarantee, expensive and will take time.
I need to start working in it is very scary.. and I am exhausted every day.

Bullshit or not but defects in my face make me extremely insecure.
 
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bpdpos1

Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2019
Messages
39
A bunch of reasons. Felt extremely anxious and depressed since I was 4, as far as I can remember. Which led to me being awkward and sad most of my life. Honestly, I think I could deal with the sadness, even though it bothers me to never be sure where it came from or why it started so early. But I also have BPD and symptoms include being uncertain about one's identity and chronic emptiness. That's worse to deal with for me. I also find myself very ugly and can't help compare myself to others in terms of looks and career wise and end up being extremely jealous, which is something I am deeply ashamed of (experiencing that kind of jealousy). I try to fight to be more positive everyday and I have been happy a few years ago for a short while while being on meds but I screwed that up like most things in my life. I'm nearly 30 and I struggle to envisage a future where i'm financially secure and independent and that scares me a lot.
Sorry if this post is a bit long.
 
NomadicWolf382

NomadicWolf382

I want to drift into the lucid dream, endlessly...
Joined
Jun 11, 2020
Messages
132
Trauma, bad relations with the family, No friends, disappointment, depressive realism, Misanthropy, in a endless cycle of constantly reminding myself of shit that is no longer relevant; due to being conditioned to remember as a means of extreme guilt and regret for even the most minor of transgressions. The list can go on, but those are just a few.
 
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bpdpos1

Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2019
Messages
39
Squiddy said:
Reason I want to die is my incompetence (so much I don't know that I should know), difficulty articulating myself verbally, a very bad memory where I forget whole conversations and my mental illnesses make life extremely difficult
I can relate, especially my incompetence and not being able to communicate, it's so horrible. i'm sorry you're going through this
 
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Natsu Suki

Natsu Suki

Elder weeb
Joined
Feb 14, 2020
Messages
14
Raised with heavy expectations left me a burnt out wreck, major anxiety started in grade school and early high. This spiraled into severe depression due to a multitude of reason all through high school. I stopped sleeping, ate little for a person of my height, started experimenting with constant light self harm. By the end of high school I appeared to be a fairly well rounded individual on the outside but a burnt out wreck on the inside, no friends, other than family no personal relationships, no love interest, I feel like everything I do or think is wrong and useless. In conclusion, I'm a useless individual with no future, no interests, nobody who cares about me, and severe mental illnesses from the untreated anxiety/depression.
 
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glittergore

glittergore

the sea, the sea
Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
119
- Severe mental health problems (Bipolar, OCD, GAD, paranoia)
- Hatred and fear of my body
- Limited capacity to survive in society, hatred of society
- Personal incompatibility with my passions, as in, the things I love are not attainable in the way I want them to be
- Improbability that I will ever be the person I want to be and therefore an insurmountable self-hatred/dissatisfaction
- A rosy view towards suicide, finally being able to find some freedom and power, giving my life meaning through my death
 
Vetrarnott

Vetrarnott

Experienced
Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
297
I have depression, anxiety, and OCD.

I was planning on laying my neck on the railway track last Saturday night, but I chickened out after imagining the sound of the train approaching and the final moments of perception after my head had been removed and was now rolling under the train.