• Welcome to SanctionedSuicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness and suicide. Please read our rules and our Principles.
    If you are in need of immediate support, please call the Samaritans hotline at (877) 870-4673, or check our recovery resources.

orangepotato

orangepotato

Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2020
Messages
74
Seriously, I'm at the point of seriously considering paying a sex worker just to hold me while I cry.

Why is it SO HARD to find in this society? Literally just this one thing would alleviate so much mental anguish. All I want is to be held while I cry and being told it's OK. Normies don't understand. They take being loved for granted so much. They act like therapy is some silver bullet that will make up for society just letting me rot. "Go to therapy!" is pretty much society's police way of "go pay to talk to someone, I don't want to deal with you or acknowledge your pain." You know, if 10 years ago a girl had done this for me I probably wouldn't be suicidal right now at 34. Literally that's all I ask for - but society just wants me to rot. I wasn't asking for a hero. Just for one god damn fucking hug and set of ears.
 
Midgardsorm

Midgardsorm

Undead
Joined
Apr 28, 2020
Messages
430
You know, once I saw an interview with a sex worker, she said that a lot of people (Mostly older guys) comes to her and spend most of the time talking. She feels like she is a psychologist of some kind.

It's strange, those guys could have went to a therapist and yet, they were there. Maybe there's something about therapy, something that they are doing it wrong.

I left therapy a few days ago and I had a closure session with my therapist. I said that I felt that people are too fast in making assumptions, try reasoning, try to solve your problem. When the first thing to do would be acknowledge your pain. Make you feel that you are with someone that understands you, make you feel comfortable, supported.
Sometimes we need to shed tears first, cry as much as we can and then try to solve problems.
Surprisingly, she agreed with me. She even apologized, it was the first time ever that someone apologized to me. I cried, in the last session I felt like I was finally being understood by someone, just for a brief moment.

I cry every day, there's nobody here, I have a family that I can't talk to. Friends that left me and some relationships with them are even worse. There's simply no one. I shed every drop of tear that I have before going out on the world, pretending that everything is okay. Making jokes and smiling.

A hug? A friend? An ear? A comforting voice?
I guess that's asking too much.
 
Last edited:
aanka

aanka

i cannot PM yet
Joined
Feb 23, 2019
Messages
25
hey there,
@Midgardsorm it sounds like your therapist and you were beginning to find something. it might be worth going back to them and pursuing the openness and honesty. I can be a friend if u like

@orangepotato please feel free to message me if you want to talk. I'm 36
 
F

-FrozenRobot-

Member
Joined
Jul 27, 2021
Messages
8
Hmm I don't know. Maybe people like us are cursed. No matter how many people are around me during the day, I always end up crying alone at night.
 
F

-FrozenRobot-

Member
Joined
Jul 27, 2021
Messages
8
Pluto said:
I admire you people for being able to cry. I've ended up a robot.
Man, you're a robot? Check my username. Haha. It's true that you can't cry after a certain point in life. Maybe we ran out of tears. Now I'm just dead inside walking around, waiting for my body to join my soul.
 
GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Average SN enjoyer
Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
4,223
You have to not have any unmet emotional needs in order to get that, apparently. Oh, and you have be "functional" as well. I give life a rating of 10/10.
 
Last edited:
Dark Spring

Dark Spring

Sobreviviendo
Joined
Sep 29, 2020
Messages
117
Sorry if I don't make myself clear, my English is not very good.
First I would like to tell you that I go with you in this feeling, if only someone would give us a hug of those that are of understanding, that help you to unburden and loosen all your inner knots with tears. Those silent hugs that do not judge, only understand the pain and emptiness.

I, my friend, who do not know you at all, offer you my embrace, in the distance, in virtuality, but above all in the feeling and company you need.
 
Akerblad

Akerblad

Cringe suicidal sadboy
Joined
Jun 16, 2021
Messages
26
most of the time i'm pretending that nothing happens despite thinking really serious in commit suicide, i know what you feel but at least you can cry and that's a good way to leave your emotions flow, you're not so dead inside yet
 
tiredplant777

tiredplant777

Member
Joined
Jul 23, 2021
Messages
33
Yes. I think about this a lot. It also scares me because I think it would scare people away. I've thought about hiring a sex worker too actually just for hugs but the idea always kind of scared me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Akerblad
Marktheghost

Marktheghost

Mage
Joined
Feb 20, 2020
Messages
573
I need somebody to hold me too.

And I seem to have lost the ability to cry.
 
angelus

angelus

Interfice teipsum, et gaudium invenies.
Joined
Jul 29, 2021
Messages
63
I
-FrozenRobot- said:
Hmm I don't know. Maybe people like us are cursed. No matter how many people are around me during the day, I always end up crying alone at night.
I can totally relate.
 

Similar threads