whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,484
My subconscious is all to aware that I've put myself in this bad situation so I find it hard to redirect from it. Like; "I'm a fucking idiot who did this that and that", I can only agree and I can't replace the thought, and observing it just brings the next similar thought in infinitum. This is what makes recovery feel impossible to me, I had not learned from my mistakes until they could not be repaired..
You're in a worse situation than me because I've frequently caught "the voice" prophecizing erroneously or giving assertions about me that are partially or completely false.

In short, the voice is wrong and it only makes the things it tells you about more likely to transpire by existing. Its behavior is unnaceptable. It is a sabotager. Even if you were the biggest loser on Earth you ought to have a subconscious that defends you and has a positive bias towards you. Anything else is pathological.
 
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Aug 23, 2022
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You're in a worse situation than me because I've frequently caught "the voice" prophecizing erroneously or giving assertions about me that are partially or completely false.

In short, the voice is wrong and it only makes the things it tells you about more likely to transpire by existing. Its behavior is unnaceptable. It is a sabotager. Even if you were the biggest loser on Earth you ought to have a subconscious that defends you and has a positive bias towards you. Anything else is pathological.
You are probably right. I've been in the position before in my life where my subconscious told me more like lies but now it hits so close.. My only hope to change my thoughts is an employments, for distraction and building up new experience and doing stuff that are good so I can counter my subconscious with positive stuff. Rn I got nothing positive..

I realize we are in the recovery part of the forum but feeling like it's fact that I am in a bad position rather gives me hope that I can overcome SI because of that.. rather than believing the impossible (recovery) šŸ˜
 
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whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,484
You are probably right. I've been in the position before in my life where my subconscious told me more like lies but now it hits so close.. My only hope to change my thoughts is an employments, for distraction and building up new experience and doing stuff that are good so I can counter my subconscious with positive stuff. Rn I got nothing positive..

I realize we are in the recovery part of the forum but feeling like it's fact that I am in a bad position rather gives me hope that I can overcome SI because of that.. rather than believing the impossible (recovery) šŸ˜
I believe suicide can be a viable path and that living can sometimes be the wrong choice. I'm not sure which one is my case, which is why I'm not dead.
 
M

MrShino

Member
Jul 8, 2021
25
I tried to explain it but let's try again. Be aware every day that YOUR mind decides how YOU feel, NOT what's outside. If you're ugly, fat, a wagecuck or a 31 yo virgin is NOT what makes you suffer but how YOU feel regarding what other people think or act based on how you look or what you do. Think of this quote by Epictetus: "We are not tormented by things but by our opinion of things". Whenever you are confronted with something that seems impossible to change, you need to change yourself so that thing no longer bothers you.

This doesn't mean we shouldn't strive to improve but it does mean that if I have to brainwash myself into feeling like I can live without sex I will do so. Nobody has to live with me but myself so I have to make sure I'm always on my side (my subconscious). The core of this treatment is to plunge into solipsism, and something related has happened organically among hardcore conspiracy realists. Thinking that most people are part of the simulation or not as real as we are. Therefore rendering their ostracism, their whole society invalid.

I had to resort to this because of my severe social anxiety and 'otherness', other people might need a different approach. My strategy is extreme but my problems are also extreme. Basically I'm trying to boost the defense-boosting aspects of Narcissism and Solipsism and wrap it all up with Stoicism and Mysticism (the belief that the material world is a inferior state and there's something better for those that overcome it).

Honestly, even if it's all delusions, which I doubt, I'm caring for myself with this plan and that's all that matters. When faced with the type of pain that leads to suicide your mind will warp and grasp for anything. I find the idea of a completely transformed individual that's unphased by society's bullshit beautiful, even if some delusions were used as useful tools in the process. Society proved with modern art, September 11 or with C19 that they are strongly delusional, so if I can craft my own delusions to make myself invulnerable it's only fair.

Reminds me of how I viewed the world in my 20's; mostly like the buddhistic concept that life perceived here is likened to a dream. It's actually a really carefree way to live, akin to solipsism. You don't take life and others so seriously. Is it true? Who knows, but it works somehow.
 
whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,484
What I have done that's worked slightly is to pay attention to what I'm telling the subconscious. There's some communication FROM the conscious mind to the sub, although most is from sub to surface. Putting on nice clothes, cleaning, tidying up your room, the things you say about yourself to other people...
 
Pluto

Pluto

Meowing to go out
Dec 27, 2020
1,447
the buddhistic concept that life perceived here is likened to a dream.
Ramana Maharshi was very blunt on this point. He said that only the formless Self is real. The waking state is equally false to the dream state. I laughed when he described the two states as 'dream 1' and 'dream 2'. He said the only difference is that the former has an apparent sense of continuity. I wish I could have that same direct insight.

In the Advaita tradition, in order to count as 'real' something has to exist timelessly and it has to shine by its own light. Hence nothing in the physical manifestation meets that requirement, only pure consciousness.

What I have done that's worked slightly is to pay attention to what I'm telling the subconscious.
Since most people would obediently identify with any of these voices and you have successfully overcome that most profound weakness of the human condition, have you ever called into question the 'I' who is engaging in all of these internal dialogues?
 
M

MrShino

Member
Jul 8, 2021
25
Ramana Maharshi was very blunt on this point. He said that only the formless Self is real. The waking state is equally false to the dream state. I laughed when he described the two states as 'dream 1' and 'dream 2'. He said the only difference is that the former has an apparent sense of continuity. I wish I could have that same direct insight.

In the Advaita tradition, in order to count as 'real' something has to exist timelessly and it has to shine by its own light. Hence nothing in the physical manifestation meets that requirement, only pure consciousness.


Since most people would obediently identify with any of these voices and you have successfully overcome that most profound weakness of the human condition, have you ever called into question the 'I' who is engaging in all of these internal dialogues?

Interesting. Perhaps we will one day awaken from the illusion of reality, or that when we die - this life and it's memory fleets by like traces from a dream. Who knows. I refuse to believe that this life is all there is; granted it's suffering and incompleteness. It just doesn't feel like 'true life' or really real existence. On the other hand; that the incredible details of this world (just take all information in it's extreme detailedness and complexity) can be a mere dream doesn't sound right either.