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tardis

Member
Joined
Sep 7, 2019
Messages
32
I feel it's impossible for me to be part of a community. My personality, temperament, social class, and status as an immigrant, basically make it impossible for me to belong anywhere.

Do you think you would have something to live for if you were part of a community?
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Defective since birth
Joined
Jul 1, 2020
Messages
4,305
no, but feeling like i belong somewhere might help a little.
i was actually just talking to my friend about it last night "Ive always been different". i can look back and im always the odd one out that doesnt fit in. aside from my personality (bpd) im not sure what else it could have been and honestly scares me too much to ask and find out.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Living dead girl
Joined
Sep 24, 2020
Messages
3,027
I am very introverted and I struggle to connect with others really. Having friends is overrated and people can be very disappointing. Suicidal thoughts are simply a part of me and I do not like living. Nothing will change that fact.
 
western_heart

western_heart

Advanced darkness
Joined
May 23, 2021
Messages
181
Having friends helps me feel better but I isolate so quickly when I'm feeling down. I have been avoiding friends/family IRL for the past month or so. It's hard for me to stay active in a community. I can at least remain part of online spaces where I can contribute on my own terms.
 
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tabletop

Member
Joined
Oct 8, 2019
Messages
24
tardis said:
I feel it's impossible for me to be part of a community. My personality, temperament, social class, and status as an immigrant, basically make it impossible for me to belong anywhere.

Do you think you would have something to live for if you were part of a community?

I can SO SUPER relate to feeling like it's impossible to join a community. But for different reasons than yourself. I DO feel that being part of a community would very much help with my depression and suicidal thoughts. I haven't tried a whole lot of things for my depression, but so far socialization is the only thing I've noticed that helps me. It doesn't fix me. It only helps...some.

I think I've heard a number of times that human brains are evolved to tribal living. Close knit tribes/communities. And the transition from that to our now industrial age was way faster than evolution could keep up with. So being part of a community would be mentally beneficial for most people I would THINK but I don't know.

For me I did have a great sense of community in a church growing up. Not all churches are like that. Nor am I recommending a church or religion. I think they can actually be negative for mental health depending. I don't believe in any sort of religion or gods so joining a church would be off the table for me.

So I now have a question. What sort of a community could one join that isn't religion based?
 
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TheUnkn0wn

Member
Joined
Jul 2, 2021
Messages
32
I only have a select few friends left and when around them, I'm less depressed and have no suicidal thoughts. The moment I'm back home on my own, I get lost in my own thoughts and the lows begin. If I had a stable friend base/was part of something, without a doubt I'd be in a much better place, however I'm very socially awkward and the odd ball of the a crowd
 
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cloudgazer26

cloudgazer26

quiet is violent
Joined
Jul 9, 2021
Messages
19
my issues are trauma based as im sure a lot of people here are. mine occurred when i was 7 and I hid it until i was 22. no friends or counselor could've gotten me to think differently until I was ready. Honestly, talking about the incident has brought me nothing but pain and loss and anxiety I should've kept it all hidden;
 
Ironweed

Ironweed

Nauseated.
Joined
Nov 9, 2019
Messages
150
Possibly, since I have no such things in my life, and am very unlikely to ever again. And never truly had them in the first place, in all likelihood. My personal belief is that life is a conditional good, meaning that under such and such a set of conditions it is worth continuing to live, and that failing those a voluntary death is both a reasonable and rational choice.

BTW, the downside to having such a thing as "friends and community" is that I'd likely feel quite a bit more guilty than I do about ending my life through suicide than I currently do. If I knew for a fact my death would affect fifty people rather than two or three I'd probably still proceed, assuming that's how things end up, but I'd certainly feel guiltier about it.

In my case, though, the whole business would never leave the realm of the hypothetical. I'm without doubt one of the most unlikable human beings who has ever lived. Not in a mean-spirited or evil way, just that I'm too selfish and too blind to social cues to really have friends or belong to any sort of community. Stopped trying some time ago.
 
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tardis

Member
Joined
Sep 7, 2019
Messages
32
tabletop said:
So I now have a question. What sort of a community could one join that isn't religion based?
If I was younger I might have joined the military. I have heard mma gyms are good for making friends, and building comraderie. Family too if you have that but probably most of us don't.

There really isn't anything anymore though. It used to be you could join bands, artistic communities etc. but now everything is online.
 
grail

grail

Member
Joined
Jun 25, 2021
Messages
54
I really miss going to marching band and stage crew before the quarantine. I'm out of high school now, so I'll never see most of those people again. I didn't really have the chance to make many close friends in them. I don't know if I ever would have, since I'm no social butterfly. I don't really say much. But I did love being in a group and hanging out with people, even if I mostly just listened.

I suppose there's clubs in college, but I feel like all of my motivation has been sucked out of me over the course of quarantine. In the middle of lockdown, I would tell myself things would go back to normal next year; I'll join some clubs in college and finally meet some real friends. But now I think I've been left behind so many times that I don't know I'm capable of keeping friends.

tabletop said:
So I now have a question. What sort of a community could one join that isn't religion based?
I guess there's d&d groups
 
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nofutureghost

asleep
Joined
Dec 5, 2020
Messages
51
nah, I'm not a socializing fan and loneliness isn't on a significant part of my suicidal thoughts
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Desire=half of life. Indifference=half of death.
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
4,865
People seem too serious to me most of the time. So in that respect I don't fit in with groups.

I think if I ever found a group who were like me in one way it would help. I often see a humorous side of things. It's out of place usually. Not having like minded people around is not a reason I want to ctb, but .... it would be nice. I'm a very silly person who has to constantly try to keep a lid on that.
 
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Simba

Simba

Missunderstood Potato
Joined
Dec 9, 2018
Messages
210
Maybe ,it depends ,if they are people who understand me n stick by my side till i die would be nice , friendships , relationships etc .. i wouldn't mind been in my own death bed or poor if it meant id have some friends or bf that understood me n not try to censor me saying stuff it not appropriate or hurting others or disrespectful or not the place or forum to talk bout life n death n suicide n such .. probably won't happen
 
P

Pallf

I'm tired
Joined
May 27, 2018
Messages
207
Would it help me? Possibly, but I'm sure I'd blow it. I'm not the best at forming and maintaining positive relationships, and I'm at peace with that.
I think having a community and friendships like that would mean I'd need to reinvent myself, and I'm not sure how long I can hold that facade.
 
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whywere

Enlightened
Joined
Jun 26, 2020
Messages
1,200
Overall yes, because humans are a social animal. I for one, love all our global family members on here as all of you are my family and friends. I have no other. I would love to have a friend to watch the sun set with, but have not yet. Everyone needs someone, no matter if it is just the person checking out ones food at the store. Walter
 
S

S like suicide

Arcanist
Joined
Apr 29, 2021
Messages
439
whywere said:
Overall yes, because humans are a social animal. I for one, love all our global family members on here as all of you are my family and friends. I have no other. I would love to have a friend to watch the sun set with, but have not yet. Everyone needs someone, no matter if it is just the person checking out ones food at the store. Walter
You are so right Walter!!!I think the same...personally I think it could help me a lot because lonliness is killing me
 

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