Welcome to SanctionedSuicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness and suicide. Please read our rules and our Principles.
If you are in need of immediate support, please call the Samaritans hotline at (877) 870-4673, or check our recovery resources.
I do not seek any friendships anymore. I think they are overrated a bit. I mean, yeah, sure, you might share some good memories and spend time together.
But I'm not sure if it's worth risking being abandoned later on, or traumatized by their actions if they turn out to be evil people. I feel exactly the same about any communities.
If they could tolerate me, not necessarily accept, or like me, but tolerate (preferably) and do something with me from time to time, then maybe I could feel slightly less suicidal. But that wouldn't be a big difference for me, and definitely not big enough to stop thinking about ending my life.
I simply can't connect with others anymore. I used to struggle with that a lot, but now it feels like it's completely impossible for me now.
this is a great sadness for me. my father is mexican, my mother japanese, i look like and arab and i went to a British school most my life. with the mexican poor my skin is the right color but not quite the right shape and definitely not the right culture. with the rich, the culture is right but the skin color is a problem. in japan i look like an arab and they are very racist. in europe too. ive always felt like a stranger everywhere i go. even in small groups.
theres other things that make me always feel separate: my understanding, my left handedness, my asthma, my violence.
for sure. i used to be part of a really big community when i was younger, but i was forced to relocate to a country where i couldn't fit in. it's definitely not a competition, but i sometimes wish i was like some people who have been lonely for the majority of their life just because it drives me balls to wall insane being more acutely aware of how much i'm missing out on.
Can you expand on this? I think they are too. Not sure if I mean this in the same way though. In-person “communities” make me think of political movements or cults. Online ones are flaky, transient, and volatile at best. I don’t think there are any good ones left. None that would take me anyway.
Not having one is one of the main reasons I sometimes have this instinct to run to the bus stop.
Not necessarily because of loneliness, I actually don't mind being alone, but rather it's a constant reminder that I'm the weirdo, the outsider, too strange to be accepted into any community (or for me to accept them. I've had groups I've left running because I felt like I didn't belong.)
It would make me less lonely, probably not less suicidal.
Unfortunately, there's absolutely no one like me, and that's my problem. I'm always the outsider and the odd one out. I could probably search my whole life and the whole world and only find 1 or 2 people who I could really connect with, have similar interests to me, and who don't annoy me in some way.
I'm a contrarian and don't do or believe anything just because it happens to be popular and that already puts me at odds with most people.
Any community usually tends to be filled with a bunch of loud assholes/narcissists and their followers who just want to fit in and follow the herd. I'd rather have a close small group of friends, maybe 5 people max. Any more than that and there are too many idiots/brainless types and annoying people.
If I could magically find a community of a bunch of weirdos like me I might stick around longer. SS is close but not quite.