Hollowillow

Hollowillow

I want throat hugs & anime! Can't use chat pm me
Aug 7, 2022
1,251
I'm from canada, quebec, near the city of montreal. Willing to pm but scared to read them, willing to go out & meet, but intense agoraphobia right now.

I'm lonely... I probably couldn't go out ... Too sick & fell in deep despair so much I can't do shit... I'm shitty ... People tell me I'm too negative when I ask for help about my reality...

Sigh... People here are nice... I feel like I belong no where anyway...

Maybe a need a hug. From a woman like me. A guy offered me to cheer me up but abused me... He had a girlfriend too...

This world & myself disgusts me...

Wanna hang out?

Best way to hang?...
 
Dead Ghost

Dead Ghost

Mestre del Temps
May 6, 2022
572
I don't think so, I feel a lot of pressure, I get very stressed when I have to arrange a specific date or time to meet someone.
I'm one of those people who, when he has to go to the doctor, prefers to go straight to the doctor's office to ask for an appointment instead of calling on the phone to make an appointment... in the hope that maybe they'll make a place for me.

I've been trying to get a bank card at the bank since April and I still haven't succeeded (and I've gone in person about three times over the months and called them too, twice this week, but I can't get it... 😞 ).

So no, the most I've done this year is stay with a person I really love and after a little over a week I ended the relationship because of how stressed I was.

No, I wouldn't stay with anyone in order to keep the friendship (if there was one 'online').

//

No crec, noto un forta pressió, m'agobio molt quan tinc que aparaular una data o hora concreta per quedar amb algú.
Sóc dels que quan ha d'anar al metge prefereix anar directe a la consulta per demanar hora en comptes de trucar per teléfon per demanar cita.. amb l'esperança de que potser em facin un lloc.

Porto des d'Abril intentant que em facin una targeta bancària al banc i encara no ho he aconseguit (i he anat unes tres vegades presencialment al llarg dels mesos i hi he trucat també, dues vegades aquesta setmana, però no me'n surto...).

Així que no, el màxim que he fet aquest any es quedar amb una persona que m'estimo molt i al cap de poc més d'una setmana vaig fer que petés la relació de tan agobiat que estava.

No, no quedaría amb ningú, per tal de conservar l'amistat (si n'hi hagués, 'en línia').
 
Last edited:
Teddybear

Teddybear

Student
Nov 20, 2021
154
I find it difficult to hang out and be disgusted at the world at the same time

I love the world: Its big, gorgeous and beautiful.

Its people that disgust me and how they insist on making life difficult for most and unbearable for some of us. Always in the name of some noble cause.

Yeah, I'd love to hang around with someone. But only to look at beauty and not to confirm the ugly of this world to each other.
 
hamvil

hamvil

Mage
Aug 29, 2022
500
I am writing from Italy. Not sure if I would be able to meet somebody from this forum IRL.

What would be talk about? I am terrible at making conversation and the meeting would turn awkward very quickly. I am also not that interesting as person outside by former job, I would not know which topic to pick for a discussion and in general I would probably say something that would offend the other person.

It takes a lot of effort to handle me even when I am in a good day and I realise it is not fair to ask this to anybody. I would be happy to try to chat with someone but I am to shy to start the chat by myself.
 
S like suicide

S like suicide

Enlightened
Apr 29, 2021
1,155
I'm from canada, quebec, near the city of montreal. Willing to pm but scared to read them, willing to go out & meet, but intense agoraphobia right now.

I'm lonely... I probably couldn't go out ... Too sick & fell in deep despair so much I can't do shit... I'm shitty ... People tell me I'm too negative when I ask for help about my reality...

Sigh... People here are nice... I feel like I belong no where anyway...

Maybe a need a hug. From a woman like me. A guy offered me to cheer me up but abused me... He had a girlfriend too...

This world & myself disgusts me...

Wanna hang out?

Best way to hang?...
I would love to hang out with you but i live too much far away from you unfortunately:/
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Hollowillow
C

chloramine

Experienced
Apr 18, 2022
255
I’m not really comfortable sharing my location to that extent. It’d be cool to hang out with someone from here. I know my discomfort with sharing my location means that can’t happen, but as a thought experiment I would.
 
X

x_riverrock11

Visionary
Jan 24, 2021
2,077
Maybe. I would probably talk to them over Skype a lot first. It would take a while for me to open up and try. You have to be wary of predators looking to prey on vulnerable people and misguided people-lifers.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

typically not in the mental frame to converse..
Jul 1, 2020
5,348
yeah, id totally love to hang with someone but no ones near me it seems. canada on the A coast
 
S

Starry Starry

Member
Aug 22, 2022
18
I'm from canada, quebec, near the city of montreal. Willing to pm but scared to read them, willing to go out & meet, but intense agoraphobia right now.

I'm lonely... I probably couldn't go out ... Too sick & fell in deep despair so much I can't do shit... I'm shitty ... People tell me I'm too negative when I ask for help about my reality...

Sigh... People here are nice... I feel like I belong no where anyway...

Maybe a need a hug. From a woman like me. A guy offered me to cheer me up but abused me... He had a girlfriend too...

This world & myself disgusts me...

Wanna hang out?

Best way to hang?...
I'm going to tell you what happened to me. I had previously been on this site for a long time. I felt safe and I trusted the people who were on here. Then an individual sent me a pm and we began to "talk." I assumed since he was on this site that he was suicidal or had thought about suicide. Long story short, he turned out to be a narcissist who uses people fo rhis own benefits and then discards them. I trusted him (we spoke to each other for 10 months) and told him things I would have never told another soul. Please be careful. THere are people on this site who are only on the site to find "victims" and use them.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

typically not in the mental frame to converse..
Jul 1, 2020
5,348
I'm going to tell you what happened to me. I had previously been on this site for a long time. I felt safe and I trusted the people who were on here. Then an individual sent me a pm and we began to "talk." I assumed since he was on this site that he was suicidal or had thought about suicide. Long story short, he turned out to be a narcissist who uses people fo rhis own benefits and then discards them. I trusted him (we spoke to each other for 10 months) and told him things I would have never told another soul. Please be careful. THere are people on this site who are only on the site to find "victims" and use them.
im totally not discrediting your story or anyone elses, but thats honestly never happened to me. when i first joined it even said 'use me' under my name
 
S

Starry Starry

Member
Aug 22, 2022
18
im totally not discrediting your story or anyone elses, but thats honestly never happened to me. when i first joined it even said 'use me' under my name
I'm glad it's never happened to you and I hope it never does, but I think it's important to know that there are people on the site and other sites who are on for their own purpose. As far as I'm concerned anyone who goes on a suicide website and is here for the wrong reason should be removed.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

typically not in the mental frame to converse..
Jul 1, 2020
5,348
As far as I'm concerned anyone who goes on a suicide website and is here for the wrong reason should be removed.
im sure thats not your concern alone :hug: :hug: :hug: well, of course its not because i agree too, but im sure its more widely accepted then just us 2
 
  • Like
Reactions: MountainMonkey
S

SandMan90

New Member
Mar 26, 2022
4
Yes I would. Sometimes people just don't understand how things feel. It would be refreshing to be in the copany of someone who is at least in the same ballpark. Would probably end up talking about plants. I'm in Ireland
 
  • Love
Reactions: Hollowillow
Hollowillow

Hollowillow

I want throat hugs & anime! Can't use chat pm me
Aug 7, 2022
1,251
I'm going to tell you what happened to me. I had previously been on this site for a long time. I felt safe and I trusted the people who were on here. Then an individual sent me a pm and we began to "talk." I assumed since he was on this site that he was suicidal or had thought about suicide. Long story short, he turned out to be a narcissist who uses people fo rhis own benefits and then discards them. I trusted him (we spoke to each other for 10 months) and told him things I would have never told another soul. Please be careful. THere are people on this site who are only on the site to find "victims" and use them.
Thank you for reminding me. It happens to me a lot. But sometimes risks are worth it. I'm so sorry he betrayed you. I resent narcs. Maybe he was suicidal too. Hopefully narcs take themselves out sometimes.
 
S

Starry Starry

Member
Aug 22, 2022
18
Thank you for reminding me. It happens to me a lot. But sometimes risks are worth it. I'm so sorry he betrayed you. I resent narcs. Maybe he was suicidal too. Hopefully narcs take themselves out sometimes.
HE thinks too much of himself to kill himself - he is a true narcissist. My world is much better without him.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Hollowillow
avoid_slow_death

avoid_slow_death

Ready to embrace the peaceful bliss of the void.
Feb 4, 2020
1,165
At one point not very long ago I was actually planning to visit another member in their home country to just hang out for a week. We are very close friends, but recent developments have worsened this person's condition and it is pretty much a foregone conclusion that it won't happen.

This coupled with the fact that when I first joined the site 2 years ago I quickly befriended someone who thought and saw the world in a very similar way to myself. We became very good friends very quickly and not only shared our pain, but our hopes and dreams. Silly stories and serious ones. Conversations about meaningless things and wild what-if scenarios. Our conversations were always a delight for us both because we had so much in common. Unfortunately this person's physical and mental distress were too much for them and they ctbed. I miss them greatly to this day even though that was 2 years ago.

So nowadays, no. I wouldn't. Even though I live in the U.S. and am not really afraid of much of anything, it's not fear that stops me. It's pain. I simply cannot get really close with someone again. I can listen and offer kind words and maybe advice still, but as far as opening up myself? No. Not anymore.
 
Teddybear

Teddybear

Student
Nov 20, 2021
154
I'm from canada, quebec, near the city of montreal. Willing to pm but scared to read them, willing to go out & meet, but intense agoraphobia right now.

I'm lonely... I probably couldn't go out ... Too sick & fell in deep despair so much I can't do shit... I'm shitty ... People tell me I'm too negative when I ask for help about my reality...

Sigh... People here are nice... I feel like I belong no where anyway...

Maybe a need a hug. From a woman like me. A guy offered me to cheer me up but abused me... He had a girlfriend too...

This world & myself disgusts me...

Wanna hang out?

Best way to hang?...
Oh, I loved my time in Canada - specially Quebec. Its like the civilised version of the US to me. 🤩
 
Hollowillow

Hollowillow

I want throat hugs & anime! Can't use chat pm me
Aug 7, 2022
1,251
Oh, I loved my time in Canada - specially Quebec. Its like the civilised version of the US to me. 🤩
Hahaha! But I wish we had guns. Do we? I'm insane they'd never let me have one. Do you? Are you in the usa or only visited that one too?
 
Hollowillow

Hollowillow

I want throat hugs & anime! Can't use chat pm me
Aug 7, 2022
1,251
  • Like
Reactions: Teddybear
Teddybear

Teddybear

Student
Nov 20, 2021
154
I feel the same. My eyes hurt too much to read all the article, but after what the governement did to them in the past, it wouldn't surprise me that they were paid by the government.
Up until February the Left was all out in a rage over Canadian Tar Sands and what that sheyit did to the indigenous people.

But now that they need that oil, not 1 newspaper here reports about the misery on 1st nation lands anymore.

When I visited Quebec province the warmth and friendliness of the locals took me in. I checked into a boarding house late at night and the owner decided to do the paper work the next morning.

So he handed me the keys to the whole house, told me I was the only guest there and that he would return the next morning to make me breakfast.

Gosh, in the States they shoot you for just staying on somebody's lawn for to long.


PS: Lived in the States for 20 odd years, but was too careless and didn't apply for a Green Card until after 9/11. Then, another 4 years later the sponsor had a change in management and they dropped out of all GC applications. Mine was just 1 more filing away from being finalized. :(

And then I missed the cut off date for Canada by 2 1/2 months, because I wanted to earn the money for the lawyer, first. But by then they had changed Canadian immigration law which meant that my age disqualified me.

Finally I tried to emmigrate to the UK. The only familly I got left besides my mom lives there. But then came Brexit, followed by the Corona lockdowns. It took me a full year to recover financially, and with the end of the transition period approaching (EU citizens had up to 1 year after Brexit to decide on wether to move to the UK) I had my plans made up for travel for the 31st of December.

And then I get a call that my bitch mommie dearest had herself a slipp & fall, that she needed to get to the hospital asap but was refusing treatment.
"You *have* to come here and help!"

What a decision - I could have just jumped in the car and left her behind. But that urge to be a "good son" got the better of me again.

She never said "thank you" - not once. :(

But she did call me an "idiot" in front of everybody. I guess that's love, too, isn't it?
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: akana
Soulless Angel

Soulless Angel

Did someone say Rum?
Jul 6, 2020
1,180
See I am in two minds, part of me would as I would like associate with like minded people, but the other part of me has no trust in anyone! I have spoken to people on here and gotten close and some of them buggered off to the other side, so there's that issue too
I am southwest uk
 
Hollowillow

Hollowillow

I want throat hugs & anime! Can't use chat pm me
Aug 7, 2022
1,251
Up until February the Left was all out in a rage over Canadian Tar Sands and what that sheyit did to the indigenous people.

But now that they need that oil, not 1 newspaper here reports about the misery on 1st nation lands anymore.

When I visited Quebec province the warmth and friendliness of the locals took me in. I checked into a boarding house late at night and the owner decided to do the paper work the next morning.

So he handed me the keys to the whole house, told me I was the only guest there and that he would return the next morning to make me breakfast.

Gosh, in the States they shoot you for just staying on somebody's lawn for to long.


PS: Lived in the States for 20 odd years, but was too careless and didn't apply for a Green Card until after 9/11. Then, another 4 years later the sponsor had a change in management and they dropped out of all GC applications. Mine was just 1 more filing away from being finalized. :(

And then I missed the cut off date for Canada by 2 1/2 months, because I wanted to earn the money for the lawyer, first. But by then they had changed Canadian immigration law which meant that my age disqualified me.

Finally I tried to emmigrate to the UK. The only familly I got left besides my mom lives there. But then came Brexit, followed by the Corona lockdowns. It took me a full year to recover financially, and with the end of the transition period approaching (EU citizens had up to 1 year after Brexit to decide on wether to move to the UK) I had my plans made up for travel for the 31st of December.

And then I get a call that my bitch mommie dearest had herself a slipp & fall, that she needed to get to the hospital asap but was refusing treatment.
"You *have* to come here and help!"

What a decision - I could have just jumped in the car and left her behind. But that urge to be a "good son" got the better of me again.

She never said "thank you" - not once. :(

But she did call me an "idiot" in front of everybody. I guess that's love, too, isn't it?
Yup... The government claim fake kindness to win admiration then backstabs...

Holy shit, I felt unwanted but never got rejected by countries. Which country was yours? Where are you?

Disown that ungrateful bitch. I did. Didn't you destroy her furniture as a teen? Now that you can choose, flee that monster.
See I am in two minds, part of me would as I would like associate with like minded people, but the other part of me has no trust in anyone! I have spoken to people on here and gotten close and some of them buggered off to the other side, so there's that issue too
I am southwest uk
I too got mixed feelings about it. I'm a misanthrope, I mistrust everybody to death due to trauma & dealing with narcissists. But everyone here want to kill themselves! They are aware of their flawed human selves. That wisdom makes me love everyone.
Fascinating how it sounds negative but is positive. And ponctuation changes the meaning: "Why? Not." I could probably give a long list of paranoia. Like meeting a cop, a narc, a serial killer (no wait that's good, if he's quick), a pro life wanting to convert you to jesus, organ harvesters...

Or... Gasps... A precious friend to lose & feel guilty to cbt.

Or someone to share coolaid with?
 
Last edited:
Teddybear

Teddybear

Student
Nov 20, 2021
154
…
Holy shit, I felt unwanted but never got rejected by countries. Which country was yours? Where are you?

Disown that ungrateful bitch. I did. Didn't you destroy her furniture as a teen? Now that you can choose, flee that monster.
…
I grew up in Germany, when the place was still brimming with aging Nazis and their ignorant offspring. Being the only colored kid in sight didn't help with that.

And my mommie dearest is in my mind, burned in there since childhood. When the bitch was still able to stand on her own two feet, it helped me a lot to just turn around and leave her behind.

But now she can't even sit straight w/o assistance, and abandoning her now would feel like tearing the wings of a helpless fly. :(
 
TheLastK

TheLastK

You can just call me K
Aug 6, 2022
100
I would like to but I recognise the dangers in meeting up with someone online. Not really willing to share my location but I'm in western Europe so if anyone is really interested I would respond to a PM.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Hollowillow