Soon4me

Soon4me

Enlightened
Jun 15, 2018
1,591
I'm interested in this not just for my own case,but in general,(Although you can answer about my case also if you want.)

For me if i met someone with sexual problems,if i liked them and enjoyed their company,and had similar interests,it wouldn't bother me,and there are all kinds of sexual stuff besides
Penetrative sex.

My case :
Penetrative sex causes me excruciating pain.So it's just not possible.
Would most men dump me when they find this out ?
Would a problem like this be an instant turn off to men (or women for that matter) ?
I'm female 21,hetrosexual,(although iv'e experimented with females when i was younger,might be open to this again,i don't know?)

You can be as brutally honest as you want,i won't cry.
 
Soon4me

Soon4me

Enlightened
Jun 15, 2018
1,591
Thanks for the answers so far.This is one of the main reasons i'm CTB
If i could figure this out or learn how to deal with it.I wouldn't have to CTB.
Any other problems i have i can live with.
This one i just can't deal with.
 
Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,786
I could care less about the sex. To me, its what's inside a person that determines whether we would date or not. You don't have to be perfect, but as long as you can make me happy(not sexually), I'll keep you happy.

Relationships can't be built on sex, that's what destroys them.
 
Vincent Moraes

Vincent Moraes

Member
Jul 20, 2018
66
Do you still have pleasure through touching your clit? That might be a solution. You can always be creative about sexual pleasure. Your condition might make you insecure, and I understand it's not a desirable condition, but there are ways to overcome it. You might also find pleasure through anal sex. So, the thing is you don't have to put yourself in an asexual relationship and it might be easier for other people to accept a relationship with you if you are open to other possibilities of giving/receiving sexual pleasure
 
L

Life sucks

Enlightened
Apr 18, 2018
1,871
I'm not interested in relationships despite being attracted sexually. Maybe I can't answer well.

I don't know if your problem is unsolvable?

But anyway, I wouldn't mind because there are other ways and maybe there are solutions and I'll try the best to make them solve the problem. To be real, even if I accepted it without a solution, the other side will have problems and will hide it.

But Tbh, I wouldn't mind it if I really like/love the person so its more about the person than sex.
 
Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
I'm in my 30s, so my sex drive is almost gone. I'm like borderline asexual now. Maybe it's not my age but the medication I'm taking but sex is not really important to me right now. If I had a SO and couldn't have sex with her the traditional way, it wouldn't really bother me. I wouldn't feel like, I'm missing out. For me, a loyal and affectionate companion would be enough to satisfy me. And I'm not interested in having kids. I think most men would be turned off by your problem though and dump you if they found out because most men have a very high sex drive. They are like walking penises... Most men also want kids one day. But not all men are like this. So you don't have to worry about being single your entire life. You just have to put more effort into finding someone. There are billions of people on this planet. A lot of them won't care about your problem.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
I suppose that might be kind of disappointing, it just depends on the people involved and what they want or desire. I think interest in sex never really goes away if u ever enjoyed it to begin with. I heard of very old couples still having sex but they probably have pills and hormone replacement to help with the side effects of aging. I think it’s possible to find someone who doesn’t require penetrative sex though it might be harder.
 
M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
232
Personally, I've always equated "sex" to "having an orgasm," but that's probably because of my unique sexual interests and sexual life. I'm a 32 year old guy and until recently never had a girlfriend. I always used porn, so to speak, to get off. My "problem," if you want to call it that, is that a woman's butt or boobs or whatever don't excite me the way they seem to excite normal straight guys. I have a fixation on (obsession with?) feet and foot tickle torture, and the way I've gotten my pleasures my whole life was by watching videos of girls being tied down and tickle tortured on their feet. I learned from having a girlfriend that this could surprisingly be somewhat of an advantage, as it seems to be virtually impossible for me to orgasm having sex the normal way; the result is essentially that as long as the rest of my body is up for it, I can basically go on forever (this was good in that I could offer her a lot of pleasure).

Anyways, the point is that I don't need conventional sex at all. Of course, I do need a particular kind of stimulation which I personally would think is hard to provide for most people, but everyone has different needs, sexually, as well as the capacity to provide them. But I don't think the idea of finding someone who can accommodate your sexual (or lack thereof) needs is far fetched. I mean, I did.
 
Midnight

Midnight

Beyond solace
Jun 30, 2018
625
To be honest my sexdrive is a bit too high to refrain from sex altogether. I could probably cope with having to find other methods besides penetration but in my previous relationship it was really frustrating for me.

But like most above here are saying. Plenty of asexual people arround. You would just have to be lucky enough to find one.

I would not however just straight up walk out of a relationship upon getting to know the issue. I would try to work things out first.
 
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C

creatureoflight

Mage
Jul 27, 2018
531
I suppose it would be turnoff for most conventional guys. But there are lots of things you can do, like for example being diagnosed for what medical condition you have (vulvodynia or others) and getting help for that. Also, there are many guys out there who don't like 'conventional' penentrative sex or don't want sex so maybe you could find someone you like. Buzzfeed has a girl who also has the same condition and she has hers improve massively through medical help (I don't know what she did exactly though.) It's not unheard of.
 
T

TooLate2582

Experienced
May 6, 2018
258
I'm interested in this not just for my own case,but in general,(Although you can answer about my case also if you want.)

For me if i met someone with sexual problems,if i liked them and enjoyed their company,and had similar interests,it wouldn't bother me,and there are all kinds of sexual stuff besides
Penetrative sex.

My case :
Penetrative sex causes me excruciating pain.So it's just not possible.
Would most men dump me when they find this out ?
Would a problem like this be an instant turn off to men (or women for that matter) ?
I'm female 21,hetrosexual,(although iv'e experimented with females when i was younger,might be open to this again,i don't know?)

You can be as brutally honest as you want,i won't cry.

Curious, Is it a size issue?
 
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T

TooLate2582

Experienced
May 6, 2018
258
I use sex to fill voids, sex of all kinds; vanilla, hard core bdsm but most importantly, sex with girls who are train wrecks like myself. It’s not meaningless hookups to me as there is always some connection. I’m sure I could have a relationship with a girl who had difficulties if she would be willing to explore her limits and boundaries otherwise but I don’t knoe if I could have a relationship with a totally asexual person
 
Fylobatica

Fylobatica

Inactive
Apr 1, 2018
365
If I was actively in search of a partner, I wouldn't refuse a purely platonic relationship. That's because I'm probably the one who gets the finger pointed at when sexual problems are the matter of the dispute, lol.

I'm not in the position to judge other people's difficulties with sex, since I've always had them myself; it's probably just not my thing.
 
FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,792
No. I wouldn't rule out a relationship with anyone who could accept me. But a longish life has taught me not to hope. Hope isn't free. Each disappointment demands a price and the subsequent prices add up. Finally, now I'd feel too guilty to have a relationship since even if I wanted to stay alive, I no longer can.
 
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