• Welcome! SanctionedSuicide is a forum for the discussion of mental illness and suicide. Please read our rules and our Principles.
    If you are in need of immediate support, please call the Samaritans hotline at (877) 870-4673, or check our recovery resources.

I

Itsjustme21

Member
Dec 4, 2020
33
Your ctb date is in 45 days, how do you spend them? All your usual costs (food, housing etc.) are taken care of and you have €6000 euros to spend freely.

I'd like to hear your ideas/personal stories.
 
Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
910
I'd live in a nice home. I'd foster home a dog for two weeks and then give it back or hope someone adopts it before I ctb. Ehh... and that's about it I guess. I just want to experience living in a nice home with a dog again before I ctb.

In reality, I'd probably end up playing a game and drawing and suddenly notice it has been 45 days, and hate myself for spending my precious time on a video game or a stupid sketch.

This made me realize that there isn't much currently that I want to do in this world. I feel that I have done everything already. If my doggie was here, I'd probably want to take a few walks together in our usual places.

Oh, and I'd take a goddamn long and cold shower, and I'd love to take a bath, I've never been in a proper bathtube, I'd love a big bathtube. Hmm, maybe I could try an outdoor bathtube too.

And I'd install lights everywhere and bathe in sunlight and artificial light.
 
GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

FUBAR
Jan 26, 2021
5,171
ChillyInsidiousGodwit-max-1mb.gif
 
G

Grey-zoner

Member
Dec 17, 2021
42
Hookers and blow at Vegas, ayahuasca in the Amazon, LSD wherever, save a chimp in Africa, maybe one or two good deeds elsewhere, then driving a rented pickup truck loaded with fireworks and watermelons over the Grand Canyon. All this would naturally be done on borrowed money.
 
Onthe29th

Onthe29th

Student
Dec 28, 2021
170
I’d still have to take time off of work and give a months worth of advance notice in case I fail so I’d only have 15 days lol
 
Feeding Pigeons

Feeding Pigeons

Arcanist
Aug 5, 2021
428
Your ctb date is in 45 days, how do you spend them? All your usual costs (food, housing etc.) are taken care of and you have €6000 euros to spend freely.

I'd like to hear your ideas/personal stories.
I would go to Peru or Spain and straight up blow whatevers left of the 6000 on drugs and ladies of the evening.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Z-bar
Xeroornothing

Xeroornothing

Global Mod “Ye shall be as gods..🐍🍎”
Jun 22, 2021
2,091
I would just live my days as I normally do because if I went on hedonistic spree, the chances are that my SI will gain even more power over me. I would leave whatever money I have left to people close to me who i think will need it or have good use for it
 
NotSureToEndure

NotSureToEndure

Professor of not a lot
Aug 17, 2020
64
I guess I'd cash in my accommodation and go somewhere nice. Maybe india or south america. Live on the road day to day, eat well, go swimming, then finally curl up and dissappear.
 
gottago222

gottago222

Student
Dec 21, 2021
154
go to croatia
crash into some waves on the beach
go to the islands
collect turtles and feed them watermelons
chill with my cousins
stargaze/moongaze/sungaze
eat steaks and crabs
 
AverageFanEnjoyer

AverageFanEnjoyer

The Hated One
Sep 26, 2021
1,939
my CTB date is in 30 days and I will spend them suffering against my will as I did all the previous days in this life. money don't mean shit anymore. i don't want to do anything. because humans are everywhere.
 
S

StarryStarry

Specialist
Oct 25, 2021
361
Doing and saying whatever the fuck you want to. That's how you should spend your last days. We live so stifled - I actually envy people who are told they only have a certain time to live. Hell, I'd be cuttin the rug!!
 
mistvissione11e

mistvissione11e

Member
Jan 3, 2022
24
Be enlightened and in a sleep like visual hallucination until my death.
 
grungeCat

grungeCat

Awkward & weird
Jul 5, 2020
1,083
Nothing much more interesting than I've already spent time on. Drinking, lying on the bed, crying, cutting myself, hugging cats, maybe I would program something to prove I'm not as useless as it seems but probably not.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: ThriveOrDie
deflationary

deflationary

Fussy exister. Living in the epilogue
Mar 11, 2020
538
I doubt it would change much. I mean, I guess I'd stop going to work. But I don't see myself getting up to anything particularly outrageous. That shit takes energy and desire.
 
savagepeonies

savagepeonies

Member
Dec 9, 2021
7
Spend as much time near the ocean as possible. Eat my favorite foods. Give away as much as I could.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ThriveOrDie
O

ormaybeyoucouldchill

Member
Aug 26, 2021
16
Honestly, probably doing the same things I always do. (Which is mostly nothing.)
 
  • Like
Reactions: demuic
Kim

Kim

Daydreamer
Sep 18, 2018
148
Go to the sea and look at the waves
Stop working
Give my stuff to other people who need it
Spend all my time with my boyfriend
 
  • Like
Reactions: Z-bar
M

myopybyproxy

Experienced
Dec 18, 2021
235
Take out all my credit and give my two weeks' notice. With that money, get a few things on my bucket list done, and go on an epic bender. Hopefully, the resulting dopamine crash would overcome any survival instinct.

I'm pretty much doing that already except a less extreme version, drawn out over longer than 45 days. I keep rationalising and extending the deadline because I'm a pussy. I need to be sure I do it right this time. One failure was more than enough.
 
Chronicillness

Chronicillness

Student
Jun 19, 2018
198
I'm a bit redundant when this exact question pops up because I'm certain of what brings me joy in life, and so for the last 45 days I'd be consuming a couple ounces of black tar heroin in total, and engorging myself on some ice cream delicacies like frozen custard, gelato and booza. Strong emphasis on the consumption of heroin. I'm very grateful that heroin exists and its mere existence is my personal raison d'être. There's no greater escape in life than sucking up heroin vapors through a straw. Instant paradise.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Z-bar
NormaJeane

NormaJeane

Member
Mar 24, 2021
599
Your ctb date is in 45 days, how do you spend them? All your usual costs (food, housing etc.) are taken care of and you have €6000 euros to spend freely.

I'd like to hear your ideas/personal stories.
I would plan for death and how to overcome the survival instinct, the most difficult thing to do - that is what I am doing right now.
 
  • Like
Reactions: freemindnsoul
Rockman

Rockman

Student
Feb 9, 2020
141
I would make my small car like a camper and ride to most memorable places. Then ride to nature, mountains personally and finish job there.
Almost forget: do tons of psychedelics and smoke weed during trip.
 
Last edited:
ThriveOrDie

ThriveOrDie

We are already in hell
Jul 11, 2019
361
Your ctb date is in 45 days, how do you spend them? All your usual costs (food, housing etc.) are taken care of and you have €6000 euros to spend freely.

I'd like to hear your ideas/personal stories.
I would go to beach and swim with dolphins every day
 
PreussenBlueJay

PreussenBlueJay

Too short for Frederick William I’s Guards
Jan 18, 2022
34
Finally eschew video games and intensively read for my remaining days seated on a comfortable chair with an endless supply of matcha lattes. Primary goal would be to finish reading all of HPL’s letters.
 
  • Love
Reactions: TommyWiseau
freemindnsoul

freemindnsoul

Wizard
Sep 29, 2021
649
I would plan for death and how to overcome the survival instinct, the most difficult thing to do - that is what I am doing right now.
my answer as well. I can't bring my self to go on a trip or party. I am done
 
Z-bar

Z-bar

Grow with the flow
Dec 15, 2021
17
I'd want some more money, it'd be spent in a week on drugs and I'd be bumming the rest of the time wishing I budgeted better.
But this is coming from a mindset where I'm not ready just yet to ctb.

What I would do is make sure I secure
Some N. I've made up my mind that's how I wanna go. I always dreamed of going in my sleep. I want N!!!